She crazy.

Everything is crazy in Everything. Foer is still dealing with being lost in translation with Alexander. Everything Foer says to Alexander is taken literally. There is no room for figurative speech because he takes it personally or literally. Even small words such as scrap or angry or upset send Alexander through the roof.

The best part of what I read yesterday into today was when Foer told Alexander and Grandfather that he was a vegetarian. First of all, they had no clue what the word vegetarian translated to. Second of all, when they found out what it meant Grandfather says "Oh, he eats meat." "No, I don't." (Foer) To Grandfather "He says he doesn't." "Yes he does." (Grandfather) "I will not." "Yes you will." "I won't." "Not even sausage?" "No." "How can he not eat sausage?" Alexander to Foer "How can you not eat sausage?" "I don't eat meat." THIS...is the typical type of dialogue going on throughout the book. What is worse is that when they get to the restaurant, the waitress is distressed from the fact he won't eat meat. The cooks say that they refuse to make a dish without meat and everything must be served with it. So, he gets meat. Alexander has to take it off of the plate for him. Well, one of Foer's only two potatoes flies off the plate and lands on the dirty floor. No one says a word. Then, Grandfather jabs a fork in it, cuts it in fours (one for Foer, one for Alexander, one for the dog and one for himself), places it on his plate and says "Welcome to Ukraine!"

Then, they go to a hotel. Alexander tells Foer to stay in the car and not go in so the hotel does not recognize him as an American and charge an extra tariff. Well, Foer does not listen and wants to go in and insists on it. Alexander tells him to keep his mouth shut, which does not last. As soon as the hotel GM hears him, he asks for documents. He is charged extra for being an American.

This is the stuff of a travel journal. I think one the funniest types of books one can read is a travel essay. There, you read of stuff that happens to real people when visiting foreign countries. The pursuit of a good time sometimes to be more stress than the traveler bargained for. Oftentimes customs and traditions are mistaken and people end up in pretty funny, stressful situations. Read Eric Weiner's The Geography of Bliss. It is one of my most favorite books. It is not necessarily a tale of travel debauchery, but a tale of why people are happy. On Weiner's travels, he does encounter some interesting situations.

So, Foer has a difficult time understanding the Ukrainian customs and traditions. He acts more of a hard headed fool than a sensible traveler. This is why they keep calling him a dumb Jew. I am interested in seeing how the story continues to progress. I am sure there is going to be a point in which homeostasis is reached and all customs will be balanced out. Traveling to a foreign country is definitely a learning experience. Fortunately, I have been to some pretty friendly, helpful countries. But, I also think my common sense is enough that I can go without messing up my chances of not being identified as a confused American. I do my homework before I go. In La Madeleine in Paris, I was mistaken for a French by a French employee. Job well done. :)

Well, last night I met up with UNC Greensboro people and went out to some bars. It was quite entertaining. Sunday night crowds are always interesting in Chicago. I was in the company of two musicians and an artist. There was singing on the street and a lot of banter. We actually ran into Ms. Foozie, a Chicago native drag queen on the street. I had my camera and could not resist. How many places and times do you actually run into a drag queen? Foozie is so popular here because apparently he/she/it has contributed a lot of money to a LOT of good causes around the city from animal rights to human rights.

I am writing this blog in Barnes and Noble cafe at the moment. I was just informed by a co-worker how to claim disability for being crazy. It sounds good to me. She said her cousin-in-law..."she crazy. she make my cousin go downtown and say he crazy. He told them Michael Jackson was president and now gets a $600 check in the mail on the first of every month. They got five kids, too. She made them say they crazy too now she don't have to work anymore cause she live in Section 8 Housing and make $4000 a month in crazy money." I need to make this "crazy" money. Come on, I think I am crazy. This conversation came about because there is a woman in Barnes right now that will probably kill us all one day. She is crazy. She is jumpy and always wears the same thing but has a TON of money in her bag when she shops. She has crazy eyes and just looks it. My co-worker...the one who told the above story...she and I say that she is coming to kill us all one day.

Well, I am about to go to Gap. I am sure I will be stuck in a corner by myself like always. Sad. I told them the other day that Barnes was helping me along with training to move up in the system. They were upset thinking I might leave them. I am not. I am going to stick with Gap as long as they want me! :) Tomorrow, I am going to Chicago Public Schools and seeing what can happen. Wish me break a leg. My friend Dena is having knee surgery today, so break a leg...haha...to her too!

Until next time... :)

St. Patty's in Chicago

So, the reason I did not blog yesterday was because I went out last night. Lame excuse? No. I finally had the chance to go out and visit with friends and enjoy myself. It was relaxing and fun. The bars were absolutely packed, but that is ok. I ran into about ten people I know. It is always nice to meet up with people and meet new people. I got the chance to quasi dance in about one square foot. I didn't spend money last night because I had benefactors which was nice. Even if I do not drink, I think I will start going out a little more often just to socialize and have fun. I really need it. The bad part...getting in at 2:30 when Daylight Savings Time kicks in. 3:30. UGH. I had to be at work this morning at 10 at Barnes. I got off at Gap after a 13 hour day yesterday at 10. So much fun.

The Chicago River was dyed green for St. Patrick's day yesterday. I was happy it rained because I worked and didn't want to hear about other people having fun. But I guess drunkards can have fun in rain or snow. Well, I hope it was rainy for all the people who went to the festivities.
Please read Foer's Everything is Illuminated. I am still around the same spot...which sucks...but it is immensely enjoyable. I have had so much fun. I giggle to myself constantly while reading. There are so many language barriers between main characters which adds to the fun. It kind of relates to my ESL Master's Degree in the fact I am finding out what it must be like for a kid to learn English. There is so much mis-communication.

Speaking of books...I was invited into a book club yesterday. A customer asking for Edith Wharton asked me to join his book club. I had informed him that my English professor, Dr. Polk (from college) was dear friends with Wharton's family. I also told him my French professor, Madame Brown, was the God-Daughter of Albert Camus, a famous existential writer from France. I am definitely going to do it. He said it would be good to have a young mind add to the conversation and bring in some new literature.

I think I am getting closer to a Chicago Public Schools job. I have made one connection that said jobs are definitely there and she will do all she can to help me connect with them. She is the division head of science for four high schools and has been with the system for 15 years. :)

Well, tonight I might not get to write too much. A friend I met in Myrtle Beach back in 2007 is going to be coming up from North Carolina for a performance at Northwestern. He is a piano graduate student at UNC Greensboro. He and his colleagues are performing. I guess I get to entertain!

Could I have a translator please?

Today, at Gap, Debbie and I had a discussion about this book. She said her son read it and loved it. She is a Jew herself. Everyone that sees me reading this book tells me how wonderful it is or how funny it is. It is one of the most refreshing reads I have had in a while. I feel like it is full of substance but not too hard to navigate.

Today, the debate in the book was what to name the shtetl. A lottery was held to determine the name by drawing names from a box. The name drawn was of a man the town despised, Sofiaowka (don't know the spelling). They decided to keep the name but draw another name of how they would know it. The winner...again it was Yankel. He said it should be named Trachimbrod. A lot of the story up to now is of Yankel devising the story of he and his wife. He wants it to appear to his adopted daughter that it was a story of love. In actuality, she left him.

In the car, Foer is freaking out from Sammy Davis Junior, Junior. Grandfather is bitching and making everyone crazy. Alexander is translating Grandfather's F bombs to history so Foer doesn't know how mean he is being. The plot is so funny. The dialogue is hilarious because Foer does not know the bitchy things that Grandfather is saying. At the same time, Sammy Davis Junior, Junior is jumping all over him. Alexander says they can't be mean to the dog because she is Grandfather's seeing eye dog...he happens to be the driver. Everything is miserable and Alexander is trying to cover it up to make Foer happy. He wants him to have a "premium" experience. It is a fun debacle.

The letter Alexander writes to Foer to write the book is full of wrong translations and odd synonyms to make it sound more elaborate.

I have laughed so much.

I am just plowing on through. Tonight, I had a pushy customer at Barnes who told me to look something up on the internet for him. I refused because he was being pushy. I am not paid enough to deal with bitches. He said our computer would be able to find what he wanted. I told him it couldn't and told him to have a good night. The end.

Tonight, my roommate and I talked about our living situation for next year. I have finally come to the idea that I will move if and only if we can get a third roommate and be near trains, have parking and be close to a beach. If not, I need to find a roommate and she will, too. We shall see. I think I am getting closer to teaching leads right now. This can be a good thing. I wouldn't mind moving...only if it is to a good place in a good location that is not ANY more expensive than I am paying now. I did realize, through my roommate, that we do not live in our apartment. We pay to sleep. Really, we could get something cheaper and smaller if we are only sleeping. It is true.

Well, this is the end of tonight's blog. I had a fourteen hour day of Gap and Barnes and Noble today. It is time for sleep. Tomorrow is a 12 hour day. I might go out and socialize with new friends for a bit tomorrow night. Not spending money, of course. I don't spend money on anything. Let's get that out there.

Have a wonderful night.

Everything is funny

This book is hilarious. I have been lolling a lot to myself whilst reading. The book mixes around four different plots to complete the story. Plot 1: Jonathan Safron Foer's journey to the Ukraine to deal with Alexander who is Plot 2 which is working for his father and grandfather in the Heritage Tour Company to help Foer devise Plot 3 the story that is being created about his roots which is being critiqued in Plot 4 by Alexander.

Foer finally shows up in the Ukraine and is the dubbed Hero of the book in which Alexander is having to take a journey to Lvov to pick up. On this journey, he is having to travel with his ill tempered grandfather and his seeing eye dog, Sammy Davis Junior, Junior (which is referred to as bitch). Alexander does not want the dog to be transported on the trip, but grandfather insists. So, they make a shirt for Heritage that says Official Seeing Eye Bitch. The dog chews the shirt and it ends up spelling Officious Bitch. The trip is hilarious because Alexander is constantly assaulted by his grandfather and verbally abused.

So, they end up meeting. Alexander has a hard time understanding Foer and the dialogue is so broken but hilarious. Alexander is embarrassed but it is funny. Foer is scared of Sammy Davis Junior, Junior but Grandfather makes him sit in the car with her. Grandfather is driving the car but can barely see, hence the reason he has a seeing eye dog.

The letters from Alexander to Foer are critiquing his stories which he has designed to tell the story of his family history. He keeps calling him a stupid Jew with shit between his head.

Foer's story of his family is picked up again by Yankel having custody of his very great grandmother. Yankel's life unfolds and is told. It is an interesting history. This book is fantastic. I am so happy it was recommended to me. This week has been busy, so it might get pushed into next week, but what I have learned is that as long as I read all the books I have said I will read and continue to blog, I will be good.

Tonight ended with some girls bitching one of our managers OUT. He asked them to leave because it was after 11, but they were taking their time. They were horrendous and tried to get me to save them from him. I told them I had no pull and he was the one to deal with. All of us were in agreement that they acted empowered. I don't know who raised them. My parents did a wonderful job and would have killed me.

Peace, love and happiness...tomorrow is a 14 hour shift.

Night.

A baby for a town

So, as Trachim B...the man whose wagon plunged to the bottom of the Brod River...lies (so we think dead) pinned under his wagon in the river, a baby floats to the surface of the river. No one knows what to do and can only speculate as to how a baby would appear and from where. I figured some type of reference to Moses would emerge, seeing as this is a book based in some form or another with Judaic roots, but it did not.

The baby is some form of a conundrum to the crowd. (The baby ends up being Alexander's (the man who this story is being narrated about by Foer) great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother...or as he states very great grandmother.) They speculate the baby could be Trachim's soul because he has unfinished business in this life and was not ready to go to Heaven, or wherever. They speculated that his wife, if he was married, could have been having the baby as he was driving the cart and he could have looked away from the road for a split second and they could have been thrown into the river. But, there was an absence of an umbilical cord. So, this was out. So, the town turned into one of those towns where everyone becomes nosy. It was basically transformed into a Southern Baptist Church.

The Well-Regarded Rabbi of the Upright Synagogue...not the Slouching Synagogue (both were in debate over sacred and secular customs for the town...decided to take the baby into the church. She became a relic, so to speak, for the town. She was housed in the Synagogue and watched over. From the discovery of the baby and the death of Trachim (or supposed death) the town formed an annual festival to celebrate looking for him. People would dive to the bottom of the river and search. All of the girls would dress like the twin girls that witnessed the whole debacle. The festival went on for 150 years (he died in 1791) until the shtetl proclaimed a dead body would be gone in about two years after sitting in the bottom of a river.

So, the baby was placed in the Upright Synagogue. Men were allowed in, but women were not allowed to worship within the walls because the Well-Regarded Rabbi said that men would think of sex and nothing else. Later on, women were finally allowed to worship, but it was in a dark area under the synagogue with a glass roof...but, the men concentrated on the women below but their "clothing became more form-fitted." So, it was changed to the women only being able to look and listen from a hole about the size of an egg.

A lot of the book so far is based on the Rabbi's hilarious lecture. The Jewish humor is hilarious. I feel like I have been in a conversation with a Jew while listening. Working in Skokie is a daily dose of hilarity. Jewish men and women are extremely creative, witty and sometimes sarcastic. I think my best interactions are with them. They are always friendly and full of life...and...I love their accents. I think it is pretty universal.

So, to wrap it up, the Rabbi decides the town needs to have some sort of lottery to discover who will become the legal guardian of the baby. All of the men put their names on a piece of paper and submitted it to the Rabbi. Each sheet of paper had reasonings as to why the man would be worthy of being this famous baby's father. Dead people even ended up on the roster---huh, pretty appropriate for someone living in Chicago to read a book where dead people have rights. I think the dead still vote in Chicago at this point (if you do not understand what I mean, just read the history of this city: the dead have always had a say in politics). So, the Rabbi did not know what to do. He did not want to turn to the townspeople for answers because that would question his authority; he decided it would be best for the baby to "pick" the father. So, he dumped all of the slips of paper in the crib. The baby did not "choose" immediately...it took a couple of days.

Finally, the baby "picked." Yankel was to be the father. I am assuming this is going to be a crazy thing. By the tone of the Rabbi, it will be crazy.

This is it for today. Barnes was a bit crazy. A lot of recovery. I also had a slammin' good workout with my friend Dexter today. He pushed me to my limits. This is a good thing. Well, I am excited about continuing my reading in Everything Is Illuminated. I might put it on Staff Rec at Barnes especially since we are in Skokie. I might be able to push a Jew or two into buying it because it is quality literature.

And by the way...a gefiltefishmonger is someone who grinds the bones (I think) of the traditional Eastern European gefilte fish. Who knew? I will have to consult customers.

Oh...some really cool things, too. I think it is awesome how most of the Jewish population of Skokie speaks Hebrew. I was telling my parents how interesting it was to be in Lizard's Thicket in Lexington, SC listening to a bunch of blue haired old ladies speaking American English. I am not used to it. I hear mostly Hebrew or Polish at work. It is really cool to hear language preserved, especially after it has traveled over time and seas to make it to Skokie. Many of the Jewish population takes time to go to the Middle East to visit Jerusalem or Israel every year. They often go to see family, friends or to take a pilgrimage. I worked with a guy at Barnes who moved over here from Israel this past year. Kevin spoke Hebrew and English. He spent most of his life in Israel. I think it is so cool to be so in touch with culture. I wish I knew what I was. My family is not very in tune to roots...and this is not a bad thing, many people are not...it would just be really nice to know exactly where I came from.

Illinois Holocaust Museum (located on Golf Rd behind Old Orchard)

Pretty imposing

Well, I guess this is enough thought process for the evening. Tomorrow is a Barnes day at 4. I also hope to be able to get ahold of some schools to to get a job. I have faith that I will find something soon. I think my connections are building and my mind is getting a little stronger. These are good things.

Have a wonderful night. :)

Everything is crazy

Wow...talking about interesting. I am getting such a huge glimpse into Jewish terminology and humor in this book already. I am laughing because I always think of Oy! and switzen, schlepping, schpritzen, schputz and a couple of others when I think of Jewish words I use within my day to day terminology...but here I am enveloped in it.

Let's see...here are some words and phrases and names that are new:
Stop Spleening me
the good gefiltefishmonger
Bitzl Bitzl R
Yankel
Sofiowka
shtetl

This is just from a few pages into the book. I am learning more than I did from The Nanny and from my Jewish students combined. It is appropriate I read a book of this nature after my friend Stephanie performed Fiddler on the Roof...and of course, as I said, I work in Skokie, Illinois.

So basically, what I have learned from the book is the main character right now is Alex Perchov. Alex goes through the listing of everything everyone "dubs" him. He has multiple nicknames and goes by pretty much anything. His story begins with his father getting a phone call to do a tour for an American Jew in his Jewish Heritage Tour Company that gives tours or in Ukraine to families who lost loved ones in the Holocaust. Basically, it is a way for people to re-connect with their roots.

Then, the book opens with a history of events that are to unfold.

More will be posted. :)

Everything is Illuminated

Today begins my "F" book. This is my "F" week...in actuality, if I were on track, it should be "H," but here I am. This book comes from recommendation from my friend John who works in Evanston's Barnes and Noble. He really enjoys the works of this author and has attended speakings and signings.

Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer is my choice for this week. John said it was wonderful. Once again, I am entering unknown territory. I have no clue about Foer's writing and only know that he is requested for his book Eating Animals on numerous occasions at Barnes.

The only aspect of this book that I think I can ascertain is that it is about Jewish people. Now, I could be wrong, but by reading the back cover, it seems to be so. The part that makes this so special is that Skokie, the area in which I work, contains the largest population of Holocaust survivors in the world outside of Warsaw. My neighborhood, Rogers Park, and the one next door, West Ridge is even largely Jewish. Upon arriving in Chicago, Judaism was something I only knew on the surface, now, it is in the everyday. I serve Jewish families all day everyday. South Carolina only has a handful of Jewish people. Skokie, in fact, is home to the Illinois Holocaust Museum which is situated on Golf Road near the intersection of Skokie Boulevard. I am happy to be in an area rich with religious diversity. I would love to go to a synagogue one day and really experience Jewish culture. It is amazing to drive down Touhy Ave on a Saturday morning and see the Jewish men, women and kids making their pilgrimage to the synagogue. It is unlike anything I have seen. They are adorned in trench coats, hats, black polished shoes, yamacas and dresses. This is not Adam Sandler Jewish.

Jonathan Safron Foer born in Washington, DC in 1977. He is Jewish and from what I just read based this book on his maternal grandfather whom he never met. As a child, Foer was considered sort of an outcast. He liked to write, this hobby eventually taking him right to Princeton to study with Joyce Carol Oates. She took an interest in him and inspired him to continue doing as he was doing. He is an occasional vegetarian...kosher...this helped with the book Eating Animals. Upon graduation from Princeton in 1999, he moved to Ukraine to expand on his senior thesis which was about the life of his grandfather. Everything is Illuminated was published by Houghton Mifflin in 2002. It won National Jewish Book Award and the Guardian First Book Award. Foer wrote the libretto to Seven Attempted Escapes from Silence which premiered at the Berlin Opera September 14, 2005. His first time teaching writing was at Princeton in 2008 and now he teaches as a professor of Creative Writing in graduate studies at New York University. He lives in Brooklyn, New York with his wife Nicole Krauss and two children.

Everything is Illuminated was turned into a movie by Liev Schreiber, my look-alike and starred Elijah Wood.
I will report the beginnings of this book this evening.

Time to go to Gap.