Ozzy! And of course Brom. :)

Ozzy Osborne begins the signing at Barnes and Noble, Old Orchard, Chicago's Flagship Store

Today, Barnes and Noble was crazy. We finally had Ozzy! The event was a success. The book brought in over half of our plan alone. Wow. I need to stop blogging and start writing a book. Maybe I should stop reading everyone else's books and start writing my own. Maybe this blog is becoming a book in the making. HAHA. Who knows? To start with...the line was SOOOOOOOOO long at B&N. For those of you that know Old Orchard, it began down in the music section of B&N, wrapped around our upper balcony, out the front doors and past Ann Taylor. That is long. People were willing to stand outside and wait for Ozzy's signature. Now me, being the honest person I am, accepted a "C" wristband. That is so generous of me to take that instead of an "A." (Great thanks to our head cashier for making sure I had a wristband so I did not have to show up at 6AM to stand in line to get one). Basically, seeing as I work there, I was not about to stand in line to wait. The people who had "C" wristbands were probably in line already at 6 this morning. To give you a spectrum...each letter represents 50 people. The letter "K" was handed out to people that showed up at 8:20AM. That is around 550 people. I showed up at 11 today. HAHA. That means if I were a customer, I would have gotten a wristband for God knows when and wouldn't have gotten a signature until 5 o'clock. Sad. But, like I said, I am honest and waited with the "C" peeps instead of the "A." Let me tell ya, Ozzy draws a funny little crowd. I wanted to yell at a woman in my area. She was so annoying. A store manager from Village Crossing was the keeper of the "C" group. She and I got to be good friends. (Oh, btw, our group was harbored in the Religion section. Needless to say, none of the books were touched.)

At around 1:20, Ozzy finally showed up!!! The store let out many cheers. The press was going wild and many pics were taken. Now. The fun part. Ozzy is really not as tall as you would think. He has nice long brown hair and is very frail looking. He was wearing his purple tinted glasses (all the employees of B&N had to wear purple for him today), a black shirt, black pants and a gold chain.

Well, my group did not have to wait long. We got to Ozzy fast. As I approached the table, I watched his interactions. I could tell this is a very genuine man. He is real. Oftentimes, we fantasize about people like him and portray them as being so godly. Ozzy is a person. He drank his tea, ate his fruit and smiled at people just like any of us would do. It was the little humanly things he did that made it so much better. I gave one of my managers my camera to take a pic as he was signing my book. Kathy, an bookseller, said "Ozzy, this is Patrick. He is one of our booksellers at the store." He looked up at me, smiled and said "How do you do? It is very nice to meet you." He extended his tattooed arm to me and shook my hand. His gold rings and finger tattoos caught my eyes and it felt so real. He had shook my hand. As soon as he did, my manager was called away and didn't get to take my pic with him, but it is totally cool. I will never forget shaking the hand of such a controversial figure. I won't forget his smile and his calm voice. After I had my book signed, I came back to the music section (with my special bookseller privileges) and took a few candid shots of him.

He was totally awesome. He signed a couple of people's arms. Initially, we thought his publicists were only going to let him be there for two hours. But, he wanted to stay until EVERY book was signed. He also wanted to get pics with the B&N staff. A couple of pics from today are posted on here: Ozzy signing books, the store in chaos, the staff pic with Ozzy and the five of us in purple. :)
*Sharon stayed on the bus. After the event, my GM had the privilege of going on the bus and getting to converse with her. So, by 5:30, when he left, we had already made plan for the day.

We had 50 employees working today. About 10 were store managers from different stores in the district, one was the district manager, we had the regional CRM, the regional LP man and the Barnes and Noble Vice President. Our store made such good publicity for the company today. When Ozzy left, we cleared the store. We made sure all customers were out. We began to recover everything. At about 5;45, our DM asked all of us left to come to the cafe. She wanted to thank us all and treat us to cafe drinks and food. The store remained closed for an hour and re-opened at 6:20. One woman informed our DM she was going to Borders. Oh well. Good thing. We didn't need her anyway. So, after the cafe, we went in hyperdrive to clean the store and restore it to its original settings. The doors opened and we let the Saturday night customers in. Most were teens and I loudly encouraged them to leave the store. They were obnoxious. Some I lectured in a teachery way and that made them leave on their own. I was like "Come back guys! I wanna keep talking!" I got a lot of props from customers and employees for my knack of getting kids out. They recognized the "teacher" in me. :)
















So, after all of this, I have a quick Brom re-cap.
The Lady of the Mist is ok.
Ulfger is crazy.
The Captain Samuel Carver is introduced.
The Reverend is introduced.
Alliances are formed where not expected.
People die that are not expected.
We learn more Avalon history and history of the flesh eaters from their perspective and from the perspective of Peter.
Murder occurs.
Lying happens.
People are saved.
Pixies die.

This is my best synopsis at 3AM. I am tired. I want sleep. I am up to page 403. Great book. I will be done today. I LOVE IT. Have a wonderful night!

Brom says bring pets to Ozzy

Well, I am now up to page 300...168 pages to go until Sunday. I think I can do it. I spent a lot of time reading on cardio at the gym...good 3 miles and 365 cals on the eliptical. This week, as an additive to my exercise, I have started a diet. I am interested in seeing what the results will be.

Peter has such an interesting character as portrayed in The Child Thief. I am not really sure what to think of him. His intentions are so good, but he uses so many kids to restore Avalon to its state before "men-kind" showed up on the island. Each child he "steals" is trained to battle to save Avalon and bring the Lady back. Basically, I have gotten to a very important turn in the book. The Devils are about to battle "men-kind" who are apparently very resistant to weaponry. Men have changed over the years as they have lived on Avalon. Their skin is hard to penetrate, they have lost all faith in anything and they have turned into monsters.

As the story unfolds, the reader is opened up to the story of how Avalon came to be shrouded in mist. Avalon broke off of England and floated across the ocean and ended up at the Americas (approx. at the location of New York). England was experiencing the Crusades at the time and all Pagan life was being savagely killed by Christians. Avalon came to rest in the Hudson Bay area. The creatures of Avalon, figures worshiped by Pagans, were discovered by the Native Americans. The Native Americans came to form a bond and everything was harmonious. Sekeu comes from the tribes that formed an alliance with Avalon (this is the Avalon of King Arthur, btw). After some time being located in the Hudson, ships landed on the coast of Avalon. It was full of men-kind. Their fear of the creatures of Avalon caused them to harbor hatred and want to kill. Peter, even J.M. Barrie traditional Peter, always speaks of not growing up because you lose your love for magic and abilities to see it. Men-kind do not take well to magic because it goes against their pre-conceived notions of "normality" and want to raze anything with hints of magic.

Battle rages in Avalon for the territories protected by the Faerie people. But, modern weaponry (rifles and cannons) are something the creatures of Avalon cannot endure. Thousands die and men-kind becomes braver and braver and encroaches on the land.

We are then brought to the present when Peter's Devils are hunting for food as Peter is hunting for more kids in Brooklyn. The Devils stumble upon Ginny Greenteeth's swamp and are attacked by the barghest. The witch's daughters show up and try to manipulate the boys and the Ginny wanders upon them all. Ginny is just about to take the lives of the Devils as Peter and Tanngnost roll in and strike a deal with her. Ginny wants to take Peter's eye (in exchange for something he did to her long ago). Tanngnost reconciles with them and Peter has the witch look upon the island. Men-kind are devastating everything, including the once-thought invincible Whisperwood. Their fires are encroaching on the land of the witch. They try to strike a bargain with the witch to fight on their side, but she refuses.

Well, then we move to more hatred from Peter and Ulfger. I am not going to talk much about it all except that Peter foolishly goes to the Lady's woods and is confronted by elves and Ulfger. They have it out, but Tanngnost saves the day again. They try to get Ulfger, son of one of the original Avalon spirits, to concede and come to their side, but he does not want to just yet.

So, back to training. Leroy has become a Devil because he lied and said he saved Cricket and Danny. Nick is ANGRY and wants to KILL. Peter recognizes the darkness taking Nick. Nick tries to hurt a pixie out of anger b/c it is bothering him. Sekeu suggests they kill him, but Peter says no, there is still time to save him. The boys train. Peter gives Nick an Elven sword named Maldiriel. Nick forgets he wants to go home for a bit and that is where I am.

I am still pleased with the book. I could not be happier I am reading it as my "B" book. I think it was a wise choice.

Tonight, at B&N, the phone was ringing off the hook. So many Ozzy questions!!! I had one man screaming at me for no reason, so I let the GM take over. She shut him up pretty quickly. One kid asked me if a guitar could be signed by Ozzy. Oh Lord. LOL. The store was pretty torn to shreds after tonight. People will be lining up really early in the morning. I am just going to say I am glad I work there and get special privileges and can get my book signed even if I show up an hour before Ozzy comes. Please...who needs lines when you are good with the GM...who is amazing! :)

And here are my rules for tomorrow:

Wristbands will be distributed at 5am. They will be numbered. You can bring all Ozzy memorabilia to get signed. Make sure you have your chest signed, too. Please bring your pets because he likes them. Photo shoots with Ozzy will be permitted. Everyone is guaranteed a signature. You can have up to 12 books signed. I think that covers it. Oh...and the mall is letting people camp.

Well...gotta get to bed. Tomorrow is a big Ozzy and Sharon day! :)

I will leave you with this Celebrity Jeopardy clip from SNL on Sharon Osborne.

Celebrity Jeopardy

Please don't sit on tables...

Well...before I begin my book blogging today, there is a bit of a SCHADENFREUDE story from Barnes and Noble. Oh to be in a bookstore with so many interesting people. I love how much action occurs in Barnes when one would think it is a quiet little bookstore.

So tonight, I was cleaning the porch area of the kid's section. All of a sudden I hear a crash. I was hoping to God that no kids were hurt. I walked around the corner and there was a woman on the floor and our picnic table was flipped over. I ran over to her to make sure she was ok. She apologized so much for SITTING on the table and placing stuff all over it. She apologized profusely. I told her it was ok and not the end of the world. I looked on the floor and a baby car seat carrier was laying there. I was hoping to God there was no baby in it and there was not. I told her not to worry and we could replace the table and possibly even fix it. I was very sincere. Well...during my dinner, Amanda, my manager, came in and said "Patrick...don't worry...I know you were nice...but the big lady who sat on the table, her husband just got in my face and said you were so rude to his wife. She said she tripped and fell into the table." Now, mind you...this was probably lied about because of embarrassment...and that is ok. But to say I was rude when I did nothing but make sure was ok...what a bia. So Amanda continues: "She said you got all huffy and puffy with her. Her husband is furious and I calmed him down a lot. He said he wanted to see you and he knew the guy upstairs (cashier) had his hand on the phone because he was ready to call 911 (actually he was going to page a manager to let her know the guy needed to speak to her) because I am a big black man." Now let's reflect for a moment. Big black man. Why are you going to pull that? What is that saying? Really? Not good. First of all...no one even cares if you are a big purple man...the fact is that no one is scared of you at all. In fact, if you so much laid a finger on anyone, no matter if you were a big black man or a 95 lb white woman, the police are getting called and a lawsuit will ensue. What stupidity. So the conversation continues: Amanda said "Sir, you need to calm down. No one here was belligerent to your wife and no one would ever be ugly, especially Patrick." He says "Well I work here at the mall." Amanda says "What are you security?" "NO. I work for the Apple Store." Ok...pause number two. You work for the apple store and you are all of a sudden something? What are you going to do? Pull the iPad out of your cootie (iPad) and slap us around a bit with it? No. Plus, I wouldn't be running around telling everyone telling everyone I work for Mac to try to prove my point. It would be the same as me getting in a bar fight and saying "Oh yeah, I am the Children's Lead Bookseller at Barnes and Noble." What a tool. So Amanda says after his Apple comment "Well then you should know then about respecting property. Our tables are not for sitting on. This is why we have chairs. We don't come to your store and sit on your product. Plus, we have a big even coming on Saturday that will probably benefit your store." Well, he decides to be all big and wants to know what the Hell Barnes and Noble did that was interesting. Amanda says "Ozzy and Sharon Osborne are coming and if you would like business and for us to promote people coming to your store, I suggest you calm down." He rants a little and she tells him "Honestly sir, we laughed a lot when we learned your wife broke the table. Things in life happen and it is ok. We are not going to make a big deal out of it because it isn't. It is just something that happens and it gave us a little bit of action in the store tonight." So, after all that was said, he was calmed a little. Amanda still warned me not to go out to the sales floor for a bit. I guess she thought my short self was going to get killed. HAHA. Oh well. I guess I learned something DON'T SIT ON DISPLAYS IN STORES. Anyone not raised by sea anemones should know this.

Oh what a day. Barnes and Noble scores another fun night. But the best part was what happened after. Every Thursday night, a really nice lady comes to our store to work on the accounting work for her business she runs. She always comes to kids to use the table to lay out her stuff. She never comes in until after 10 and it always takes her til 10 minutes after we close to get out. Usually, store managers run her out of kids and make her go to cafe. I don't mind her down there as long as no kids are around that want to use the table to read. She is very pleasant. Well...after the table broke, one of my co-workers said "PLEASE let me know when the accountant comes in. I want to see her expression when she sees the table is not there." This co-worker is awesome. She is never like this, but there was a mischievous look in her eyes. I could hear the song Schadenfreude as she was talking about it. She really wanted accountant to walk in and wanted to see her face drop. Well, I was minding my own business when my co-worker ran up to me and did a total impersonation of accountant when she walked in. It was hilarious. She showed me how she held all of her stuff and how she freaked out that the table was not there. It gave my co-worker so much pleasure. HAHA. I wish this was as funny written as it actually was in person. My co-worker was on the soap opera Another World for five years and is great at doing impersonations and creative things. So it was amazing seeing that...and it was fun watching her cut loose.

So...BROM. HAHA. Peter Pan and his Devils.

The book is fantastic. I would say very gruesome but so interesting. I kind of feel as though I am in it. So far, I have gotten up past 200 pages. Still 200 to go. I am enjoying it.

A lot of background info is given on Peter. You learn of his first time in Avalon and how he was lured into a witch's lair. The whole episode is slightly sexual...in a vampiric way with biting and blood and all of that. The witch is one of the "elements" representing nature in Avalon. Although she is bad, she is there to balance out life on the island. Peter does something gruesome to her (you can read it. I won't give it all away) and manages to get away. After, he is intercepted by Modron, Queen of the Mist. She is the other part of the island representing the water (her sister is the witch). Modron is delighted to find Peter because he is a replacement son from the one she lost. The only worry is that she is always obsessing over her lost son when she needs to be concentrating on saving Avalon from man-kind. This whole theme of man destroying everything pops into here. It reminds me of Avatar in a way. Christianity is causing all magic things to be wiped out. Druids, pagans and the like are all slayed. Without them, magic cannot be sustained. Ulfger (a nephew of Modron) is concerned about the balance of life with all of the unusual magical creatures of Avalon. He is afraid all of her obsessing is going to get them all killed. Ulfger is not much older than Peter but is extremely mature and wants things to change. He wants everyone to fear the mystical creatures of Avalon and learn they cannot be destroyed.

As Peter's childhood story is being told, his current story parallels. We see him pass through Brooklyn trying to recruit more kids. He ends up finding one, but loses him to the mist. This really enrages Peter.

Also, we see what is happening with Nick. Nick meets several characters since I last wrote. He is New Blood to the Devils and is forced to do dirty work with the newbies Leroy, Cricket and Danny. Leroy is head of the new kids...he has not been turned into a Devil yet because he has done no deed that can warrant it (which is saving a life, defending yourself, etc.). He is jealous of Nick in his training. Leroy turns out to be a total bastard ass and is quite ugly to him. He even kills a pixie Nick is feeding at the dinner table. During this time, Nick is being trained by the equivalent of Tiger Lily from Disney's movie: Sekeu. Sekeu is a native to the island and is almost like the leader of the Devils. She explains the magic in everything and how one becomes a Devil. Nick has to start training immediately (training for what is not specified even though the reader knows it is for combat). Nick doesn't feel he is a fighter but she pushes him. He is able to prove himself on a food hunting expedition one day.

Nick also learns the ages of the kids there. Peter is around 1400 years old, Abraham an escaped slave from the Civil War and Redbone a hippie from the 60's. He learns the food has a "magic" to it that helps keep them young. Well, actually everything has this magic.

I am strongly recommending this book to everyone. Although it is gruesome at points, it is well worth it. I am glad I went for it and thank you Angie for the rec!

So, this Saturday is Ozzy and Sharon Osborne at Barnes and Noble. I am excited to be working it! His new book I Am Ozzy ($26.99) is being featured and signed. I am just excited to see them both. I really respect Sharon for all of the crap she has had to put up with over the years. It is good to see he has really come through things, along with the two of their kids Jack and Kelly. I am proud that they have made it so far and gone through so much. We all make mistakes and have to get through it! Perseverance. And now, look at Sharon. She is keeping all of us entertained on Primetime television. Awesome. I hope she brings Mindy. The signing will be on Saturday. Here is the information: Old Orchard Barnes and Noble Events
Next week, we will have Elizabeth Kostova, author of The Swan Thieves and The Historian, come to our store. We will also have Newbery Award winning author Rebecca Stead sign on Saturday, February 6! I am so excited for all the fun!

So, as you know, next week is my "C" week. I have chosen a classic that I have never read but want to see all of the craziness myself. I will begin Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. I am very excited to do this, especially with Tim Burton's take starring Johnny Depp coming in March. I hear the book is quite creepy. After reading Brom, I won't be surprised and that is fine with me! I am ready to see what Carroll has in store for us! The version I have purchased is published by Penguin. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. The book is in trade paperback for $14.00. B&N membership saves you $1.40. LOL. It is nicely illustrated and the book looks attractive itself. I hope is is a fun week of reading. Do not expect Disney from what I hear. Disney has to make things light-hearted. I believe Burton will be closer to the text in his new movie.

Well...gotta move my car at 7AM and then go to the gym, car shop and Verizon. Fun! FUN! FUN!!!! Have a lovely night. :)

Scaling more mountains in Avalon, once again

Today, I made a lot more progress in The Child Thief, but unfortunately I am tired. I am worn to shreds. I cleaned my apartment all day and hung out with the roommate. Laundry was on the list and the gym was, as well. I feel like it has been a good, productive day, I just feel bad because I cannot express all of my opinions about the book right now. I am on this kick where I am cutting down on caffeine and I feel it. I feel it a lot. I am sleeping well, but I just don't feel as vibrant at night...hahaha...I guess that is the point.

Right now, my eyes are becoming heavy. I probably look like a classmate that is drifting to sleep with the head bobbing up and down and up and down trying the best to stay awake.

What I will say is that the book is tremendous. Brom has painted such a beautifully, lusciously grim picture of Avalon. Beasts and pixies are still running around everyone. His attention to detail is unyielding. I feel as though I have been stolen away and brought into this alternate world. Even though it sounds so interesting, I would hate to actually be there. Avalon is scary.

Tomorrow, I promise I will review more of what I have read. I am just so tired. Sorry if I let my reader(s) (LOL) down.

Where did the time for Peter go?

It went to a day on Michigan Avenue with my friend...and then grad class. I have a headache at the moment and do not feel like I can write that much. I did not make that much more progress in the book today. I guess we all need a moment away from something from time to time. Maybe today was not my big day to read.

Peter takes a turn for the worst.

Brom has done a nice job of creating a vastly dark world for Peter Pan. His new (not really new, but for this book's purpose it is) twisted home is called Avalon. Avalon is not the beautiful painting of Neverland instilled in our minds by Disney. It is dark, gruesome, full of war and monsters and shrouded in clouds.

Currently, I am up to page 72 (part of it on a 3 mile eliptical stint burning 365 calories...have to keep you informed on exercise...my other love!). Peter has lured a troubled 14 year old, Nick, into the enchanted Avalon. Nick meets Peter as he is about to be killed by gang/drug lord people in Central Park. Peter wants to join in the "game" of beating up Nick, but what the guys don't realize is that Peter has other things in mind. Peter basically humiliates the mess out of them and practically destroys another of them before the leader gets to the park. Blood is shed and bones are cracked...and not in places that would be all too comfortable. We are shown a really violent side of this childhood favorite.

Peter's goal is to lure Nick into Avalon to become part of his Devils. They are Peter's "Lost Boys" who are there to continue battling with the evils of Avalon. In order to get Nick to enter the Mist (the portal to Avalon), he must gain trust from him. Peter jokes around with him, destroys his enemies, steals food from a Chinese food mart and breaks into a sporting goods store so Nick can get the shoes he has always wanted. Eventually, during this night, Peter convinces Nick to come to this "fort" he has where no grown-ups live. Nick hesitantly concedes and is led into the "Mist."

In the Mist, Peter informs Nick to be quiet so as to not disturb "them." Well, one can only guess what happens. "They" are disturbed. Nick notices the bodies of teens laying around all over the place. It freaks him out. He makes noise and the Mist comes alive. Peter tells Nick to not listen or look into the eyes of whatever shapes the Mist forms. Immediately, Nick hears laughter, wailing, talking and screaming. Formations begin to arise in the Mist. Ghost-like creatures of lost souls try to pull Nick to his death and become enveloped in the Mist. Nick perseveres and makes it out. Peter is fully impressed.

When they arrive in Avalon, it is on a beach. The beach is deserted, but once again, Peter tells Nick to stay quiet or the flesh eaters will get him. Nick soon learns just that. They have to duck into a depressing forest to hide from these creatures with orange eyes. After they make it through not getting caught, Peter and Nick make camp on some boulders. As Nick falls asleep, Peter leaves to go collect more kids and leaves Nick in the hands of the Devils.

As Peter is trying to go through the Mist, the Captain appears on the beach with flesh-eaters. He seems to be up to something, but Peter cannot make out details. Peter is soon able to run across the beach into the Mist and reappear back in South Brooklyn.

We are then brought into Peter's memories. He was the son of a wood spirit. He remembers being born and his first weeks as a child. His family loved him until the day he started talking and walking...he was only 7 weeks old. The family sees him doing this and takes him to the woods, against his mother's will, to leave him for dead. He is panicked and does not want to part from his mother. A wolf tries to take Peter, but a strange creature named Goll saves him; initially Goll wanted to eat him can taste the fairy blood on him and does not want to dine. Peter cries out to Goll to take care of him and they come to a compromise. Peter should not cry and catch spiders and that is his ticket to live with Goll.

I stopped reading right at the point when Nick is having his first run-in with islanders.

I think it is a fantastic book so far. I am really excited about it!

One decision I have made is that I am going to read an award-winning kids book each week, as well. I will let you know as soon as I am finished with Brom what that will be!

:)

Oh my friends...

So lately...as you have seen on my postings...I have gotten a few Missed Connections from Craigslist from Barnes and Noble. One of my friends decided to take advantage of this:

You, a strapping young lad, a smile as fine as the setting sun over the moors of my homeland. You were helping another customer at the B&N, but I couldn't keep from helping myself to a look at you, aye. You'd look amazing in one of my kilts.

Me, a slightly older gentleman, experienced in the druid method and itching to show you ALL the ropes (my latest pet, aye, has flown away). Your name is all Irish, but I'd love to show you my special "Bran" of sweet Scotch love.

Oh Justin. LOL. Keep me entertained. HAHA. Thanks for making the Bran story a success. ;)

From a Newbery to a monster

I will have to say I was touched by Rebecca Stead's When You Reach Me. I feel as though I have been able to look at life in yet another light because of a book. The themes of friendship and courageousness exude from the last third of the book.

I think something we can all take from the last couple of chapters is the value of friendship and how it is indeed okay if someone needs a break from a relationship of any type. People, especially those of the Sagittarius demeanor, need breaks from routine, monotony and familiarity. Two best friends in the book split for a period because one needed a break. He (Sal) didn't know how to tell her (Miranda) without making her mad. At the end, he told her he needed a break from her; they were always together because they had grown up together. He wanted a change of scenery. I guess this is something many people can relate to in life. Sometimes we need those breaks and it is not because we are trying to be mean. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now, let me be for real...I need to stop preaching to the choir and practice.

So now that my "A" week is over, it is time for the new pick. From Douglas Adams I will make my way down a few bookshelves in the Sci-Fi section to Brom. Brom is his name. He is too cool to go by anything but Brom. That is why I went by Rodden at the high school. HA. The inspiration for picking Brom's The Child Thief came from several outlets. First of all, I continually hear co-workers chattering about the book. They say it is a delightfully twisted book and full of sickness. I said "sounds good to me." The second comes from the fact that I just read Dan Elconin's Never After. Never After is a twisted version of J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan. Peter was not the fun-loving, mischievous never aging child of Disney's fantasy. Peter was an ass, a murderer and a crook. He took children from their homes to steal their souls so he could stay eternally young. PS...this is the reason I work in the Children's section of B&N: eternal beauty. HAHA. Bull. It will kill me before it makes me younger. I encourage you to read Never After after you read The Child Thief (if you are choosing to read with me). Never After can be bought for $8.99 at B&N unless you have the member card...I am an automaton for Barnes. It was written by a 19 year old.

Brom (nee Gerald Brom), as I have discovered, was born in the South (Albany, Georgia to be exact) in 1965. He was raised an army brat and spent a lot of time living around the world which he attributes to his sick, demonic thinking and illustrations. He is indeed an artist...a fantasy, sci-fi and horror painter to be exact. He has worked in illustrations in about every genre from graphic novels to role playing to covers of works of literature. He has even worked on illustrations for Tim Burton movies (one being Sleepy Hollow...score). Books by Brom include The Child Thief, The Plucker, The Devil's Rose and a couple featuring only his artwork. The book that has won him awards (the Chelsey to be exact...an award created by the Association of Science Fiction and Fantasy Artists...the ASFA...to recognize the achievements of individual artists) was The Plucker which is supposedly a twisted little children's book for adults. Brom lives in Seattle with his family. His website is bromart.com. I encourage you to look at it. It contains some pretty awesome paintings.

The Child Thief was obviously written and illustrated by Brom. The book was first published in 2009 by Brom and of course HarperCollins. Sorry folks, but it is still in hardcover (or trade cloth as BookMaster likes to call it...and no I am not BookMaster...I have not stooped to that level as of yet). It can be purchased for $26.99 but is well worth it. Brom has illustrated the crap out of it. There are many stunning black and white panels, but the coolest part of all is the set of glossy, color inserts of main characters. So, you are not only paying for a great read (from what I have heard), you are also getting art. Art is a good thing...and this art is incredible if you are a graphic novel fan...but the book is not in graphic novel form.

The most basic pre-synopsis I can give to this book is that once again, I have come across a twisted Peter Pan. Peter is nice and fun and looks great to the kids, but lures them into Avalon (Neverland) to help fight in a war against what we know as Captain Hook, that has been raging for centuries. Peter steals children (hence child thief) to use as his own Chess pieces. He does not mind bloodshed and will stop at nothing.

I am pretty stoked about this book. I hear a couple of people are going to read it along with me. I think this is going to be a pretty SWEET week!

Work today. Quick blip. The crazies came out. The families that make you want to pull your hair out came to the store. These are the ones that let their babies and kids run or crawl around and pull all of the books off the shelves. All of those came out of the woodwork today. I was not too happy at all and wanted to throw the Thomas the Train set OUT into the trade floor. Even my sweet little co-worker Fabi was muttering curses out of her mouth. Yesterday, I got to see a little redemption because a kid was running up the down elevator and busted his ass and hurt his knee. Schadenfreude biotch. Plus, kids laughed at him when it happened. Karma is a bitch. Think twice about throwing books all over my floor.

Night. :)

When You Reach Me

I must say, I have enjoyed reading When You Reach Me. Obviously, being a Newbery, it is well written. The thing I like about Newbery awards is that they do not necessarily highlight the most popular "culture" of reading or the most "in demand" books (something like Twilight could never become a Newbery for reasons I will not say). A Newbery has a certain underlying message that is elegantly stated by distinct writing. Sometimes, the focus is not clear until late in a book. A Newbery is something of a puzzle. The latest Newbery I read was The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.
Gaiman is an extraordinary storyteller. His adult books include Anansi Boys, American Gods, Neverwhere and others. Plus, he has written The Sandman graphic novel series, many short stories and a couple of other Teen/Juvie books (Coraline, Stardust and Interworld). Reading Graveyard was almost like interpreting a painting. I didn't feel as if I were reading words; I am really not sure what it evoked. I think he painted such a beautiful story. The subject matter is a bit morbid (boy named Bod grows up in a Graveyard) but the themes are so mature. I found some of them paralleling some of my own recent experiences.

As far as When You Reach Me is concerned, I am happy with the style of writing and the mixture of L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. I feel like Stead is trying to keep the reader on his/her toes. The direction is clear but not and each page offers a new twist. I was planning on being finished with it today, but I have a few other plans tonight. I will come back to it later and try to wrap it up. I have to be careful to begin Brom's The Child Thief by Monday.

Today at Barnes, we all had an "oh shit!" moment. A Clifford The Big Red Dog Storytime was scheduled for 1PM. Did any of us know about it? No. Who had to read? Me. Who dressed up like Clifford. Not me. Angie did. She was a good sport. The kids loved her. Teens even wanted to dance with her and take pictures.

Other than that, there were the typical "Do you work here?" when one can CLEARLY see my name tag. Over Christmas, I was wearing reindeer antlers for work to promote gift cards. A woman (mom) came up to me (I had my name tag on and antlers with gift cards from B&N glued to them) and asked "Do you work here?" Her kid was like "No mom, he doesn't. He likes to come to Barnes and Noble and wear their name tags and those antlers just for fun." PCKU. Mom: 0 Kid: 200

:)

Pics of Clifford reading will be posted!

Reading and some work...

Today was a 12 hour work day. I worked from 9-5 at Barnes and Noble and from 6-10 at Gap. Although this sounds just nasty and positively grotesque...it's not. I actually enjoyed it. Today I was on the Trade floor versus Kids because one of my co-workers lost her voice; I worked with a lot of customers/phone calls and Nook requests.

Sadness of the day: Mass Market Paperbacks

First of all, MM make me mad. They jump off of the shelves when you are not looking (or when you are). Most of them are slutty romance novels and goofy sci-fi (not even the awesome sci-fi...awesome sci-fi is in older additions of MM). For those of you who are not familiar with MM, they are the paperbacks that cost around $7.99. They are the cheap alternative to the trade paperbacks that are pretty but cost $13.00 and up. I just realized today that I would much rather pay for trade than to think that purchasing a MM would mean another would come to the store in return. They don't stand on shelves right and seem as though they were printed and packed in airtight containers. The image which conjures in my mind is receiving opening a box and the books exploding everywhere. I can only imagine the box is like a can of biscuits and on has to be slammed on the side of a counter to release pressure and spew the books everywhere. Most of these little biotches end up being stripped anyway. There is no point in shelving them. Plus, there is no aesthetic value. They are as shoppable on the shelf as they are in a recycling bin. And, and, and they have at least fifty locations they can be shelved on the trade floor. Who needs that kind of maintenance?

I feel bitter.

The coolest part of today was helping a woman wanting to travel to Charleston, SC. She was really excited to find out I am from South Carolina. She ended up buying all of the travel books I put in her hands. I also got to share travel experiences with two other nice ladies. :)

Other than this, work was work. B&N was just normal. I cannot imagine what it will be like when Ozzy and Sharon Osborne come for the book signing next weekend. I imagine the store will cease to exist.

I just got home from playing Wii Mario with one of my friends. Man do I suck at the classic version re-made. It makes me happy to know that the death of Luigi can make someone laugh so hard and get pissed at the same time.

Reading is going well this week. I finished The Fourth Bear and began When You Reach Me. I want to be able to really be able to talk about the book when Rebecca Stead is in our store. So far it is enjoyable. This week I have done pretty well with my reading. I have managed an A, F and S set. That is a week's worth of reading for ya!

I am really excited the most because I have B, C, D, E (for the most part), F, G, H (battle of three authors), J, O, P, R, T, V and Z books picked out. I have plenty of time to figure the rest out. I think the thing I have come across in my reading endeavors is the liberation of being able to read and write (I understand that this blog does not demonstrate my writing skills at all, but you have to remember this is free writing and done past midnight so often). I always thought it a little strange when people say you can travel anywhere in a good book. The more I reflect on my years of reading, the more I realize this is true. I have been to so many places in my imagination and mind. I have experienced so much. Books are a parallel universe, a dimension, if you will, to our own reality. Our minds allow us to travel with these books and see through someone else. You can be anywhere you want at any time. It is only a page away. I am not really sure what I am trying to describe and trust me, it is nothing philosophical. I just think I owe books a lot, especially lately. Sometimes they are the only consistent things in my life. I know no matter what, a book will be waiting for me or right there when I need it. I do not mean to sound as if my friends are not there or my family...they are...but when it comes to me working at night when everyone else is off and not working when everyone else is, I have to have something to keep me busy. I have something waiting for when I get home at 1AM most mornings. They bring me a lot of comfort and a lot of joy.

Tomorrow, I work one shift. I should finish When You Reach Me by my next blog. It might be a late night tomorrow night because I am meeting up with a friend after work.

Today I Gap

Above is a pic of my Gap. :)

Today I Gap it. I don't think there will really be any good stories. Usually, things are normal at Gap O Squared. I enjoy my time with co-workers and fold clothing. I then go home. Nothing unnatural. There are some people I would like to punch in the face.

Customers.

Murphy's Law can be applied to Gaps and any clothing retail establishment. Naturally, a woman that normally wears a 24/00 will go straight to the stack of jeans and pull out the one on the bottom...which is usually going to be an 8 or higher knowing that the 00 is going to sit on top. For men, it is the shirts. Why pull the small off the top of the stack when one can go straight for the XL on the bottom (once again fully aware of the sizing) and pull it out sending the rest of the shirts across the table and onto the floor.

Now: here are some things I have pondered since starting at Gap. Most of us have college degrees and are pretty intelligent. We are all nice and serve people well. Does the North Shore forget we are human? Do we not rank in society? Are we untouchables? Yes. By the way people treat us, one would think none of us had any sense in being alive. I don't think any of the customers realize this is our career. We do what we are doing because we enjoy working for the company. To the NS, we are degenerates and have no value. We are uneducated (hello half of us in Master's programs or medical school) and stupid. Because we are so beautiful (haha :) ) we obviously have no brain at all. I don't care if I were working in a garbage dump...you don't treat people like shit on your shoes.

So my lovely customers that choose to act like this, kiss my ass. For those that are wonderful and nice and appreciative and realize it is just as much of a career as their multi-million dollar jobs (well close enough lol), thank you.

Out of my months working at Gap I have one story. A customer came in that was pointed out as a porn star. I served his family. His wife was breastfeeding in the dressing rooms and decided it was appropriate to pull both boobs out even though the baby was clearly only using one.

The Holiday meeting was fun because we did this fun cheer for Gap's promotional Holiday Cheer Offs in all stores across America.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fO1E73eNr2g

and here is a fun commercial representing my roomie's Gap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7C64j8d34U

Here's to Gap. :)

As far as reading is concerned today...I am finishing Jasper Fforde's The Fourth Bear. I am enjoying it. It does have an alien in it, so I can compare it a little to A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The only problem: no depressed robot. Sad.

Hilarity ensues at Barnes and Noble and Hitchhiker ends

Oh Barnes and Noble.

Tonight I was talking to a regular who normally sits right next to our South stairwell. The last time I saw her was just before New Year and she was bitching out another customer (the other customer was complaining because the woman was talking to me. She said that this was a bookstore and she needed to be quiet. This turned into "This is not a library ma'am. Do you hear the music playing? Do ya? Do ya? Yeah that's right. Libraries don't play music. So you need to shut up and let me talk to this young man. I want to know how he is doing. And another thing. You need to get your nasty feet off this table. People put food on this table." The woman responds in bitter tones. The response from the woman talking to me "Oh yeah woman? You should just shut your bitter damn mouth and get out of this bookstore if you think I am being too loud. Go to the library.").

So...back to the woman tonight. She asked me how my New Year's Eve was. I told her it was wonderful. I told her I had a great time and went to see the Addam's Family with Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuworth at the Oriental Theatre. I also told her I just saw her "friend" (lady from above) the other day. And then the fun began. Here is the NON stop conversation I got. It was totally one sided and she kept going and going and going and going and going:
Oh that woman is evil. You know, Satan is all around us and she is just doing his bidding. Satan is everywhere. It is the end of the world. In order to come to the end, you need evil people. That is what we have now. Evil people. Evil people are everywhere. The Prince of Darkness is already in control. He is here and everyone is doing his bidding. Everyone in Hollywood is part of it (really...did she just bring in Hollywood without provocation...maybe she saw the ad in our store for Ozzy's book signing in two weeks). In order to be an actor you have to be Satanic. Everyone in Hollywood is Satanic. All of the movies are about Satan. In order to act in a movie about Satan you have to be Satanic. Satanic movies have witches in them. Did you see What Not to Wear the other day. They had a real life witch on there. They thought it was the coolest thing to dress her. Can you believe it? A witch. Satan is everywhere. They are Satan for having a witch on there. And you guys have a section about witchcraft in this store. A bookstore? How can a bookstore be brought into Satan? All the corporations are going to Satan. They have signed themselves over to Satan for what? For money? For power? For Fame? All three. And then you have Teen books that are all about Satan; look at Twilight and all of those Vampire and witch Satan books. Have you seen your magazine selection? The cover models are all Satan. They look like Satan. I don't know how they get them to look like Satan but they do and they all work for Satan (is anyone thinking of Dana Carvey as Church Lady yet?)? Everyone is around Satan. It is going to be the end of the world because of Satan everywhere? Have you seen the sign everyone is throwing up in Hollywood? (This would be the sign of the Quiet Coyote if you are a teacher...stick pinky and pointer fingers in the air and bend middle and index down to your thumb) That is Satan with the horns. I got pictures of the Pope doing that. You know what else is Satan? People marrying interaccially. Everyone coming to the United States is here to wipe the Anglo Saxon race off the Earth because they know it is the smartest and most intelligent. And the kicker is about to happen. I am 100% Assyrian. I would never come here to take over. I would never marry another race. My family is 100%. My parents married within the same tribe. I would never marry anything other than an Assyrian. Just like you (talking to me )will marry something Irish/Anglo Saxon with blonde hair and blue eyes (ha). You would never go out of your race (ummmmm...does she know me? Has she looked at my track record...Hispanic, Asian, Greek). Interracial marriage creates identity crisis. The kids grow up not knowing who to identify with. They have nothing to hold onto. They get into trouble and become part of Satan. Now I know I live here in the United States, but I was one of the first Christian Conversions in Iran. It is ok for me to be here. My government is falling apart. We have no one to lead us. But everyone else here, that is Satan. This country was built on the minds and backs of the Anglo Saxons (does she know the history of the Civil War and what might have caused it? Could the African Americans not have had anything to do with it, as well? What about the Native Americans who helped the whites and then we turned around and screwed them over?). All of these people here are here to wipe out and overpower the whites. (I feel as though she was trying to justify herself as a white might at the Million Man March.) All of these cultures mixing is Satan's way of causing cultural warfare so we can kill each other off. And then because of all of this interracial stuff, people are being driven by another vehicle of Satan...divorce. Divorce is Satan's way of pulling us in. It is conspiracy and you know what else is conspiracy? Those gays and lesbians (uh oh). They are here to bring us down to Satan, as well. Obama is Satan, too. All of these people are trying to wreck the ideal, classic, American family unit/model. You saw the Addams Family the other day. That is just a mess...I mean I am not saying it is wrong of you to see it, but it destroys the traditional family unit. They are weird, they are Satanic, they are not right. That is not normal. What happened to the Facts of Life and The Brady Bunch? This is all divorce and gays and lesbians. All of it. The religious figures have sold themselves to Satan. Everything is magic now (so I guess this is not a good time for me to recommend Harry Potter and The Graveyard Book or The Lightning Thief?). People go to Macy's for magic in that star that represents their emblem. Starbucks has the Satanic star because they are witches (oh shit, I must have Satan in my digestive system and bladder b/c that was my dinner...thank God I will be cleansing myself and peeing him out after this blog). Can you believe people go for all of this magic stuff. They are evil...and this is the point...after 10 STRAIGHT minutes, I had to cut her ass off and go to Music to cover a break.

So. That was exciting. No one else was quite that interesting tonight. I had this thought, though, after helping a couple of people with Juvie fiction, I should read some of the Caudill Awards and Newbery Awards when I get the chance (maybe after I finish my book of the week) just so I can become more familiar. I have been meaning to read A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban,
The Mozart Question by Michael Morpurgo, The Naked Mole-Rat Letters by Mary Amato and The Thing About Georgie by Lisa Graff. I am also definitely going to read the new Newbery before Stead comes to sign at our store.
Well I finished Adams' A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I have to say British humor and British anything is quite my cup of tea. Read Alan Bennett's An Uncommon Reader to see what I mean. I really Hitchhiker because of its wit. I would not say it is my most favorite book ever read, but it was fun. I found it enjoyable and the fact a depressed robot played a role made it much more enjoyable. You know how you picture scenery and people as you are reading? I could not quite get it out of my head that the book took place in the 7os. I realize it was written then but it is supposed to be futuristic and high tech. But yet, in my mind, everything had wood paneling, people wore yellow bell bottoms and the hair was Farah Fossett (sorry for spelling). I kept picturing everything as tape cassette and klunky. But, it was still fun.

As it ends, the crew lands on the planet Margrathea. Margrathea is responsible for building planets that are used as galactic vacation destinations. Zaphod is obsessed with this planet b/c it is a bit like Earth's Atlantis. No one is quite sure of its existence because it has been dormant for 5 million years (we later find out it is because the universal economic recession and no one could afford to vacation on pre-fabricated luxury planets). The planet ends up looking like shit and a dustbowl on the outside with smashed sperm whale parts all over it (you will have to read). The crew finds an entrance to the core and force Marvin and Arthur to stand guard outside. Marvin sulks and Arthur meets a Margrathean named Slartibartfast. Slartibartfast tells Marvin of the recession and says his planet is waking up because they have been commissioned for a special project. At this point, Sbf takes Arthur on a ride that is basically a tour de force of Margrathea's central core. The author describes the core as being 18 light seconds across which is around 3 million miles. It is describes as being this tiled room of unfathomable size. In the distance, Arthur can see a planet floating in the central chamber...it ends up being Earth. We find out Margrathea built Earth so we could find out the meaning of life in the universe. The Earth was destroyed five minutes before the meaning was discovered. So, Margrathea is constructing a new one from the old blueprints (they speak of how they are waiting for the casts of dinosaurs to insert in the soil) We also find out Sbf won an award for his construction of the Norwegian fjords and is asked to design a new Africa...with a lot of fjords. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew realizes they are in a chamber that is part of a design Catalog for the planet. The scenery is constantly changing. Zaphod tells a few secrets and then we are all of a sudden introduced to two mice, Benjy and Frankie. At this meeting, Zaphod, Ford, Trillian, Marvin and Arthur are re-united. They find out mice are the smartest animals on Earth (or were) and were performing experiments on us when we thought we were doing it to them. Well, in order to find out the meaning of life, the mice needed Arthur's brain. He ran. Everyone ran. Galactic police then found Zaphod after he had stolen the Heart of Gold. There was a little space crossfire. The guards died. The crew made it back to the Heart of Gold. Marvin caused the space police's aircraft to commit suicide because he talked to it...and that's it. That was the book. It leads directly to the next installment of the five part "trilogy" titled The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Good book. Time to finish Fforde now. :) We are back together baby.

Now for next week...my "B" book. Here it is...are you ready?

Brom's The Child Thief. Can't wait!

Hitchhiker Day Two...the end of the world in one chapter and then some aliens and a stolen spacecraft

Well, today was TOTALLY unproductive. This being in the sense that I moved my car so the Department of Revenue does not receive any money and then went back to sleep until noon. I then put on a hat, walked to Subway next door, learned the bailar for dance in Spanish and went back to my apartment. I then decided I would go see my fellow buddy in Missed Connections, Vince, at Barnes and Noble in Evanston. I think he and I should post them on the bulletin board in the break room to see who gets the most for Old Orchard.

When I was in Evanston's store, I bought my "B" book and Cesti's opera Le disgrazie d'Amore (sorry Old Orchard, I helped Evanston's plan for the day). Pretty excited about that. I also read some Hitchhiker. After, I went home and got ready for grad class. I learned some methods of ESL tonight and then went to the gym. At the gym, I managed to squeeze in 25 mins of reading on the eliptical. I am waiting for the time I misstep on that machine and fall off b/c I am reading and texting at the same time. Schadenfreude. On the eliptical, I managed to get to Chapter 11 whilst burning 315 cals and going a distance of 2.3 miles. It is always nice to read and lose weight at the same time.

So my reading today has been of Ford and Arthur's escape from Earth and hitchhiking a ride on the Vogon's spacecraft; this ship happens to be the one that demolishes earth. The Vogon's hate hitchhikers, so one of their cooks, a Dentrassis, saves them only to piss off Vogon Jeltz. As punishment for their hitchhiking, Jeltz reads his poetry which is antagonizing (Arthur is able to understand b/c he inserts a Babelfish in his ear...a little yellow fish that transmits brainwaves and sounds into something decipherable...hence Babel). Dent tries to grovel at Jeltz's poetry and Prefect follows suit in order to save their lives but unfortunately, this does not work. Jeltz has them sent out into space (according to the hitchhiker's guide you only have 30 seconds of lung capacity before dying...they were up to 29). A passing ship, Starship Heart of Gold, captained by rogues Zaphod Beeblebrox and his mistress Trillian, pick them up just in time. The inside of the ship is warped until they can meet normal speed Backing this up for a moment: Zaphod is a president of a galaxy that gives a campaign speech to run again, sets off a bomb, distracts the audience, steals Starship Heart of Gold and takes off into the unknown. It was mere coincidence he picked up the two hitchhikers ejected by the Vogon. On board, we are introduced to a depressed, yes depressed, robot named Marvin. I love the fact that it is a depressed robot. I kind of wish Joan Rivers' robot from Spaceballs would enter the scene...I think her name was Dot Matrix. I love the fact she had a virgin alarm on her.

So back to Hitchhiker...So Marvin spends time being pissed at the ship's doors because they are cheery and thank the group for using them. As Zaphod quickly learns, the entire ship's computer system is bright and cheery which sends him into a rage. I think my favorite line of the book so far is when Marvin presents the "aliens" Ford and Arthur to Zaphod. Marvin thinks the task of getting them to the bridge to meet is too easy for a robot and states: I'll suppose you'll want to see the aliens now. Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust, or just fall part where I'm standing?" He loathes his existence and the fact that he is not using the vast space in which his brain holds. Pessi is a good nickname for him; cymbalta would be a good cure for him. I am stopping on Chapter 16 for today. I am little over halfway through the book. Arthur has just discovered Zaphod is Ford's cousin and has met him at a party before. He actually stole Arthur's hookup, Trisha McMillan (Trillian). This makes Arthur angry on many levels. Ford spends the time contemplating the fact his cousin stole the most technologically advanced spacecraft. I ended where the spaceship was orbiting the forgotten planet Magrathea.


So I was just creeping on Facebook and found a wonderful status from one of my B&N co-workers:

Dear B&N Patrons Who Can't Keep Dust Jackets on Books: I'd ask you not to breed, but I understand you have problems keeping covers on things while you use them.
Thank you, Alex.

My response to his status:

Dear B&N Patrons,

I would advise you to create a login ID on Bookmaster so you can read proper shelving guidelines. Nowhere in the Shelving Guidelines section does it say "Kama Sutra" is in the Things that Go, Pop-Ups or Juvenile Non Fiction Picture Bay. Nor does it say that Cosmo is shelved in the Disney porch. NOR does it say Paula Deen cookbooks go underneath the Thomas the Train table.

As far as dust Jackets, please learn that if you do take them off and put them back on, you at least learn how to put both ear flaps back in the book.

Thank you.

I am quickly reminded of Sarah's status:

I'm probably the only person who could manage getting a paper cut ... on their face. F- you Barnes & Noble.

Good times. Barnes and Noble is more interesting than one would think.

Well this is it for today. Thank you for enduring my bad blogging grammar, sentence structure and any other blaring mistakes I probably made whilst writing this blog. Throw me a bone. At least I am doing it.

Have a lovely night. If you need me, I will be moving my car on N Sheridan at 9AM.

Hitchhiker Day One...An Introduction

I just got home from work at Barnes and Noble this evening. I made a pit stop to a diner with Dena. We went to Golden Apple on the corner of Diversey and Lincoln. Very good. I had chili and ate some of her pancakes and a bite of her feta omelette. We had a laugh attack because of movie quoting (most specifically Mel Brooks' Dracula Dead and Loving It and The Last of the Mohicans as Dena is canoeing in the booth singing the theme music).

As I mentioned in last night's blog...written exactly 20 minutes before this time yesterday...I felt as though I would have to work at Gap...sure enough, I did. I slept into the time I was supposed to work. My schedule was not sent to me. I was a no call, no show. I guess I am officially documented somewhere. Too bad that is the first time something like that has EVER happened to me. But, rest assured, I have nothing but grad class tomorrow night. Tuesday will be reading, gym, maybe some laundry and moving my car.

Tonight was not too bad of a late night at B&N. We got out relatively early. I think there were only two little carts of strict on sale for today. I was able to tidy kids...a lot. The store was a MADHOUSE when I walked in. I made the picturebook wall look pretty again; I made sure to fill it with some of our MOUNTAINS of plush.

I was informed tonight I had yet another missed connection from this Barnes and Noble. I swear bookstores must be for hooking up these days. It is so interesting the dynamic that comes through. This is the missed connection about me posted yesterday. I was helping someone with a Nook:
"You had me at Hello!"
This morning I walked into the store and was browsing. Suddenly, you were there saying hello. We talked about the book I was looking for and the Nook. All I could see or think about was how very handsome, bright, outgoing, and personable you were. Those hairy arms did not help me focus either. My experience teaches that if you are on my team you must be taken or would never consider time with someone my age. Wish I was going on the trip I told you about with you. So, hope springs eternal...just maybe you'd like to have dinner or show me how to operate my new Nook...not that I could actuallt pay attention to that with you there. When they were giving out personality and looks you must have gotten first in line. Your first name is one of the four major saints of Ireland and its not Albie.

Wow. I feel like I am zoning the Harlequin romance novels. Barnes and Noble, what can I say?

So...now what I am really here for tonight...A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Chapters 1-3 read today on eliptical at gym. This would be pages 1-26. My eliptical workout was 25 mins: 364 cals burnt, 2.69 miles, 26 pages....music of choice: In the Heights.

There is a brief prologue to the book that describes the nature of things. Chapter One opens with Arthur Dent defending his house from a Genghis Kahn bloodlined Mr. Prosser from tearing down his house for a bypass. Prosser is tormented by thoughts of men in furry hats on horses and the lust for killing but not knowing why. He is a nervous man with authority and no ideas on how to harness it. Arthur refuses to let his house be demolished by Prosser's men and decides to lie in front of the bulldozers (so Greenpeacey). Prosser cannot react in a manner that makes Dent budge. We are introduced to Ford Prefect who is a friend of Dent. Prefect is an alien from Betelguese disguised as a struggling actor. Prefect knows the world is about to end and comes to Dent to tell him they have to talk. Prefect convinces Prosser to lie in front of the bulldozers until he and Dent get back from a bar.

Chapter 2 takes us to the bar where Prefect informs Dent he is an alien and that the world is about to end. Dent's house is demolished. Chapter 3 brings the arrival of the aliens to demolish earth for the inter-galactic freeway. Everyone is to be vaporized. This seems almost pre-Vish to me.

The first part has been enjoyable to me. I think I will finish this relatively quickly. The humor is British and witty. It almost has a Hyacinth Bucket feel (it is pronounced Bouquet).

Let's see how far I get tommorow. For now, it is time to get ready to go to bed. Gotta wake up at 8:50 to move la voiture. C'est la friggin' vie. :) Bons reves. Oh...and this is a pic of the inside of my B&N.

As far as I can tell, this blogging thing is going to be about my reading and my experiences at Barnes and Noble.

OH OH OH...the new 2010 Newbery Award was announced today: Rebecca Stead's When You Reach Me.
The 2010 Caldecott Winner was announced today, as well. Jerry Pinkney's The Lion and the Mouse. It is ABSOLUTELY incredible!!! You should check it out!
I love books! :)

Week One, Day One...It begins...The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

So today at 2:22 AM, because I am an owl, I am writing my first official blog on my 26 week journey. I peaked at the first couple of pages, yes, earlier than expected, of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I started about 3 hours 45 mins too early; I am guessing this makes 27 weeks technically because of this early start. I had an affair with Douglas Adams while still amidst a Jasper Fforde; sorry Jasper, I have to part my ways with you and go for Adams.
I am a little hyper right now because I just got my butt beat in Mario for Wii; it was the old version of Mario. I think somewhere in my list of books, I will read a role playing guide for the game to catch me up on the skills. It was fun, though, and now here I am sitting in my room on N Sheridan listening to the occasional car pass by and hoping I don't have to work at Gap at the asscrack of dawn (my schedule for this week still has not been emailed to me).

So, Hitchhiker, yes, here we go. Has anyone ever hitchhiked before? Who does that? Gypsies, angry kids that are pissed at their parents and run away and then decide they need to go home to their parents since they don't have a ride to the movie theatre or don't know how to cook? Yes, probably. Or they all need a ride to Barnes and Noble so they can irritate the snot out of us on Friday nights. Oh la.

Funny story and quick side note that is SO random. Yesterday at Barnes and Noble, apparently someone tracked in dog crap on their shoe. Well, guess who had to clean it? Me. Yes. Me. Schadenfreude. Well, at the end of the day, my manager Dena approached me with a gift card. The GM purchased a $5.00 gift card for doing this uncomfortable task. The irony: the gift card had Pooh on it! LOL. We had a good laugh. Then the head cashier said Pooh Corner was not meant to be taken literally. Oh good book humor. (Pooh books are by Milne) The even better part was today. A little girl was fed up with being in the bookstore and did a fetal position right on the carpet where I cleaned it up yesterday. Her face was smooshed into it. Take that for acting like a brat.

So...back to the blog (2:00AM equals random...plus, this is not supposed to be a novel, so I am going to be sloppy and disjointed at times and use HORRIBLE grammatical skills)...Adams.

Douglas Noël Adams was born in 1952 in Cambridge, England. His Hitchhiker series began in 1978 as a BBC radio broadcast. Later it was transformed into plays, a movie and some computer games. Adam was a dramatist and was famous for his writing. He dedicated his life to the ethical treatment of animals and the preservation of the environment. Adams atheism landed him a dedicatory spot in Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion. He died at age 49 in Santa Barbara, California in 2001. He was most famous for writing science fiction, satire and comedy. Plenty of information can be found on Adams online.

The only bit I know about The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that it is about Earth being in the direct route of an inter-galactic highway/overpass. I am really excited about sharing my ideas about the book and my progress in reading each day. Remember...there might be a day where I only read a few pages and then other days where I fly. Grad class is priority.

Tomorrow is going to be a late post. Bestsellers are re-arranged at work for Tuesday and all of the Strict on Sale go out. Don't forget to check out the book Game Change if you get the chance. It was released about two weeks ago and is sold out all over right now. The publishers just re-printed this past week and will have the second distribution. Keep your eyes open, I hear it is a good read.

If you are going to read along side me, feel free to comment. If not, hopefully I will inspire you to read something soon enough. Every Wednesday, I will release the name of the book I will read the following week. Prices and locations for purchase will be included!

My favorite 20 books...a list compiled last year...so many more have been added...

One of my favorite activities is reading. I cannot begin to name all of my favorite books. So, I am going to go along the guidelines of the whole 15 book thing everyone is doing on Facebook (oh my vice, too). I am going to list my top 20 in no particular order and give a reason for it being one of my faves. Enjoy and I hope it gives you ideas...

1. The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner

This is a travel journal, so to speak, by Weiner. His goal was to find the happiest places on Earth...he wanted to know what conditions socially/culturally and economically that made people so appreciative of their lives. The book gives great perspective on live for those who are xenophobes. It also makes you appreciate where you are from. He is a bit cynical, which I love, but still writes a great book.

2. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

This book is unlike anything I have ever read. It is about a man that involuntarily time travels and the woman who loves him and has to struggle with never knowing when he is going to be around. It is quite fascinating...it travels back and forth between decades. I cannot really describe, but you have to read it. It will be out in theatres August 2009.

3. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

This is the coming of age and struggles (a multitude of things) of a boy growing up in Afghanistan. He moves to America with his father and has to deal with going back to Afghanistan to reclaim a child to redeem himself from his past. Such a good book!

4. The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory

The book is not about girls and fabric swatches and decorating and period wardrobe. My friend Jonathan has this impression that this is a book just for women. He actually asked me if I received my complimentary tampon in the mail after reading the book. It is a great historical fiction about Mary Boleyn's life. She is initially chosen by King Henry VIII as his "mistress." She bears him children, but he is a dog and goes after the witch Anne Boleyn. It is a great read. We all know the end anyway...well if you keep up with your history. Just know you will like it...and no tampon is needed.

5. The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

The title says it. What would life be like without humans? It is not a devastating look at human life or extinction. It is simply about the world if humans were so to say evaporate one day. There is a TV show that is based on the book...it is not as good as the book obviously and is kind of hokey. The book digs into the natural realm and the state with which we would leave the planet. It toys with the notion of minor extinctions of other animals that depended on us and also about how long our structures would survive.

6. The City of Thieves by David Benioff

This is another historical fiction type book. It is about two men, one a Red Army soldier, and the other, a civilian protecting St. Petersburg during WWII. They both end up in prison together and are released by a Colonel to find a dozen eggs for his daughters wedding. They have one week to accomplish this task...if they do, they are let go, if they fail, they die. Full of Nazi's, Red Army and crazy characters. The author takes the reader into a world of very dark humor.

7. The Color Purple by Alice Walker

I sort of have a fascination with this book. It began in college. I took a Literature and Nature course in college. The Color Purple was not a required text, but it was on a list of books we had to choose from for one mandatory reading. So, I read the book and then wrote a gigantic paper comparing it Bram Stoker's Dracula and Thomas Hardy's Far From the Madding Crowd...the paper was given an A+. Since then, I have had a fascination for all things that have to do with the book...the movie and the musical. The musical is very touching, and the music is incredible. Oprah presents it...haha. I actually booked a ticket today to see it in September in Chicago. Last school year, I made Varsity Choir at Prospect sing "What About Love?" a song sung between Celie and Shug. "What About Love?" is going to be the ballad for Company, my all-girls show choir, 2009-2010 competition season. After all of this explanation, I need not give a summary of the book. Read it.

8. Dracula by Bram Stoker

This is the famous Victorian novel written by Dubliner, Bram Stoker. Dracula is a blood sucker looking to lure in victims for a meal in this wonderfully written book. My favorite part is that it has been written as a series of journal entries by several individuals.

9. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Neverwhere is the space between the Gap (Mind the Gap) on the London Underground. What happens to the homeless or societies rejects no one pays attention to? They just disappear and fall into Neverwhere. The book takes place in the London Underground. It is a work of Science Fiction. Neil Gaiman is the writer of Coraline, the book that has recently become a movie about a little girl caught up in a dimension parallel to her own reality.

10. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Ummmm...a classic.

11. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

Oh goodness...here it goes. If you don't like Harry Potter or think it is stupid because you think it is only for kids, then you are stupid. Please don't be in denial either and try to say you aren't. Harry Potter is amazing. For those of you that do not know what it is about, you should. Wizards, witches, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Hedwig, Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, McGonnagal, etc. Just for the love of God, please read it. I have the first four printed in French, the American illustrated versions in hardback and in paperback and the original British prints...well the first four. Every time I go to England, I buy one copy of Harry Potter over there. I have four copies of it so far as it is printed in the UK. Obsessed. No. So far, six movies have come out, out of 7 books. This is the list of the names of these seven books that each take place over the course of one year at Hogwarts:
1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
I am a nerd. Get over it. My kids love it, too. I go to midnight showings of movies and midnight book parties when they came out. Sue me. The times I have been in London, I have gone up to Platform 9 3/4 to have my picture taken of me trying to go through the wall. When I taught at Lexington Middle School, the teachers did a yearbook spread on Harry Potter. Who showed up in it? Me. With my body pressed against Platform 9 3/4 in London. I have a life.

12. Sin in the Second City by Karen Abbott

Who could not resist the title, "Sin in the Second City...Madams, Ministers, Playboys and the Battle for America's Soul." This book was airplane reading on the way to France last summer. It is about the brothels of Chicago in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. Most importantly, it is about the Everleigh Club. The Everleigh sisters were two of the world's most important madams. Their club was at one time the most high class brothel existing in the US and even in the world. They served US aristocrats all the way to world leaders. The standards they set for their women of the night were extremely high; they were known as the Everleigh Butterflies. The book is a quick read and is one that you don't want to put down, but you also don't want to come to an end.

13. Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy

Not dry. If you don't like Hardy, give him a chance in this novel. I actually could not put it down and amazingly, it deals with bull crap on a farm. Really, Patrick? Yes, I was drawn into the book. It was assigned college reading. I hated Hardy's Return of the Native and was supposed to read it in 12th grade...yeah...sorry...did

n't. I took the exam and made a 79 without having read it. But, for some reason, I really enjoyed Far From the Madding Crowd...and like I said...farm life. LOL. Read the back of the book and you will fall asleep, read between the covers and you will be pleasantly surprised. It was written in 1874, so the most action is sheep falling off of a cliff, but you get the drift. Here is a quick summary directly from the back of the book: "It is here that Gabriel Oak observes Bathsheba, the young mistress of Weatherbury Farm, fall victim to her amorous caprices." MMMMM...scintillating. Watch out HBO.

14. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

This book is about the circus and how it ran in the early twentieth century. It does make mention to the cruelty of animals in the circus at that time, but the story is still great. Kind of sad, but worth reading. Takes place in Chicago.

15. Molto Agitato by Joanna Fiedler

The author is daughter of Arthur Feidler, director of the Boston Pops. The book is a non-fiction work about the history of the Metropolitan Opera in New York. It is fascinating. It covers audiences from the past to the present, opera stars and divas, general managers, conductors, set design, orchestra, scandals and anything else that could happen in such and illustrious environment. I could not put it down. It is such a fun read for anyone interested in the opera. One needs to be written about the Chicago Lyric Opera next.

16. Unwind by Neil Schustermann

Definitely not a happy book. It is a teen book about retroactive abortion. Parents are no longer allowed to have abortions before the child is born, they have to wait until the child is between the ages of 13 and 18 to have them retroactively aborted. The kids are sent to "Harvest Camp" if their parents do not want them anymore. Their bodies are harvested for parts...their pieces are used for transplants on others that are in need. Such a freaky futuristic view. Middle school teachers...use this book's ideas as a tactic to scare your students into doing the right thing!

17. Hero by Perry Moore

Hero is set in a comic book style. It is a world full of superheroes. An unlikely individual finds out he has super powers. The book is also for teens; it touches many facets of coming of age.

18. Mythology by Edith Hamilton

This book has inspired me to love anything mythological. I appreciate Greek, Roman, Norse and Egyptian mythology enough as it is without the help of this book. It was required reading my sophomore year of high school. So many people who read it find it a drag, but I find it helps me in understanding Xanadu, Disney's Hercules and any other mythological situation. A lot of understanding for Harry Potter characters, Lord of the Rings events, A Wrinkle in Time and The Chronicles of Narnia events can be traced to mythology. It is such an interesting realm of literature. I love the book. It is also great because it is presented in a way in which you do not have to read the pages in chronological order.

19. Skin Tight by Carl Hiaasen

I first saw Carl Hiaasen on the Today Show on NBC. This was at least 6 years ago. Since then, I buy all of his novels the day they come out. They all take place in Florida and they are all funny and witty. I won't describe Skin Tight because it is so crazy. Find out for yourself. I remember when I worked at Barnes and Noble, his book Skinny Dip was released. I would put it under a drawer under the register and read it when customers and management were not around. He is very humorous in his writing. The situations are murder mystery/ crime. The reader knows the guilty party from the beginning, but what makes the books so wonderful is the situations the main characters go through while investigating. This book will cause you to grow a six pack set of abs.

20. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

One simple statement. One of the only books I have read in one sitting in one day.