She crazy.

Everything is crazy in Everything. Foer is still dealing with being lost in translation with Alexander. Everything Foer says to Alexander is taken literally. There is no room for figurative speech because he takes it personally or literally. Even small words such as scrap or angry or upset send Alexander through the roof.

The best part of what I read yesterday into today was when Foer told Alexander and Grandfather that he was a vegetarian. First of all, they had no clue what the word vegetarian translated to. Second of all, when they found out what it meant Grandfather says "Oh, he eats meat." "No, I don't." (Foer) To Grandfather "He says he doesn't." "Yes he does." (Grandfather) "I will not." "Yes you will." "I won't." "Not even sausage?" "No." "How can he not eat sausage?" Alexander to Foer "How can you not eat sausage?" "I don't eat meat." THIS...is the typical type of dialogue going on throughout the book. What is worse is that when they get to the restaurant, the waitress is distressed from the fact he won't eat meat. The cooks say that they refuse to make a dish without meat and everything must be served with it. So, he gets meat. Alexander has to take it off of the plate for him. Well, one of Foer's only two potatoes flies off the plate and lands on the dirty floor. No one says a word. Then, Grandfather jabs a fork in it, cuts it in fours (one for Foer, one for Alexander, one for the dog and one for himself), places it on his plate and says "Welcome to Ukraine!"

Then, they go to a hotel. Alexander tells Foer to stay in the car and not go in so the hotel does not recognize him as an American and charge an extra tariff. Well, Foer does not listen and wants to go in and insists on it. Alexander tells him to keep his mouth shut, which does not last. As soon as the hotel GM hears him, he asks for documents. He is charged extra for being an American.

This is the stuff of a travel journal. I think one the funniest types of books one can read is a travel essay. There, you read of stuff that happens to real people when visiting foreign countries. The pursuit of a good time sometimes to be more stress than the traveler bargained for. Oftentimes customs and traditions are mistaken and people end up in pretty funny, stressful situations. Read Eric Weiner's The Geography of Bliss. It is one of my most favorite books. It is not necessarily a tale of travel debauchery, but a tale of why people are happy. On Weiner's travels, he does encounter some interesting situations.

So, Foer has a difficult time understanding the Ukrainian customs and traditions. He acts more of a hard headed fool than a sensible traveler. This is why they keep calling him a dumb Jew. I am interested in seeing how the story continues to progress. I am sure there is going to be a point in which homeostasis is reached and all customs will be balanced out. Traveling to a foreign country is definitely a learning experience. Fortunately, I have been to some pretty friendly, helpful countries. But, I also think my common sense is enough that I can go without messing up my chances of not being identified as a confused American. I do my homework before I go. In La Madeleine in Paris, I was mistaken for a French by a French employee. Job well done. :)

Well, last night I met up with UNC Greensboro people and went out to some bars. It was quite entertaining. Sunday night crowds are always interesting in Chicago. I was in the company of two musicians and an artist. There was singing on the street and a lot of banter. We actually ran into Ms. Foozie, a Chicago native drag queen on the street. I had my camera and could not resist. How many places and times do you actually run into a drag queen? Foozie is so popular here because apparently he/she/it has contributed a lot of money to a LOT of good causes around the city from animal rights to human rights.

I am writing this blog in Barnes and Noble cafe at the moment. I was just informed by a co-worker how to claim disability for being crazy. It sounds good to me. She said her cousin-in-law..."she crazy. she make my cousin go downtown and say he crazy. He told them Michael Jackson was president and now gets a $600 check in the mail on the first of every month. They got five kids, too. She made them say they crazy too now she don't have to work anymore cause she live in Section 8 Housing and make $4000 a month in crazy money." I need to make this "crazy" money. Come on, I think I am crazy. This conversation came about because there is a woman in Barnes right now that will probably kill us all one day. She is crazy. She is jumpy and always wears the same thing but has a TON of money in her bag when she shops. She has crazy eyes and just looks it. My co-worker...the one who told the above story...she and I say that she is coming to kill us all one day.

Well, I am about to go to Gap. I am sure I will be stuck in a corner by myself like always. Sad. I told them the other day that Barnes was helping me along with training to move up in the system. They were upset thinking I might leave them. I am not. I am going to stick with Gap as long as they want me! :) Tomorrow, I am going to Chicago Public Schools and seeing what can happen. Wish me break a leg. My friend Dena is having knee surgery today, so break a leg...haha...to her too!

Until next time... :)