55 Posts, 100 Dresses

Well, this is post number fifty five. I think that is quite the dedication, especially for a blog. Since yesterday early morning, so many fun things have happened. Last night, I had to finish my graduate paper. Isn't that fun?

HAHA...Actually, I went to Windy City Soul at the Empty Bottle with Dena and Beth. We also saw my friend, Mark, who I played volleyball with this summer out on Hollywood Beach. He joined in our craziness and we all had a good night of dancin' and fun. I cannot wait until the next Windy City Soul night. My friend and co-worker, Aret, is one of the DJs for the group. He spins 45s. I think it is pretty awesome to have found a venue where I can dance to 60's music. Everyone was just so fun and free last night. It was refreshing to see so many people just have a blast and let loose. I have never seen such an eclectic group of people. Hipsters mingled with potheads mingled with goths mingled with gays mingled with couples mingled with normal people. It was so awesome. Every race was in attendance. I feel like I was transported to another time. As the night progressed, mind you we did this for three solid hours, the dance floor became more and more crowded. I mean crowded. The best part of it all was the fact that there was no booty dancing. Now, I realize I am great at it, but it was nice to not have grinding music. It was fun dance-how-you-want music with no judgments which basically boils down to: white people dancing like white people.

Mark from volleyball!

Afterward I managed to go to bars for a bit to visit my friends that are bartenders and barbacks. I saw, of course tons of other friends. I also made some new friends which was pretty cool. I need to work on extending my social circle and contacts. I met my very first Alaskan friend, too. I think the only person I know of from Alaska is our dear Sarah Palin. Oh lord. But this Alaskan is nothing like her...democrat and has a brain.

The 100 Dresses is a great book. I finished it in about 30 minutes...in fact, the entirety of the book was read in one 30 minute session on the eliptical at Bally Fitness (it took less than 30 actually...I started re-reading it at around 25 minutes). The book surveys a topic that has never been much of a problem in my life...well it never was in my grade school years...only when I got to college. Wanda Petronski, a poor Polish girl, is made fun of constantly by Peggy, the richest girl and most popular in Room 13 (wow...isn't she amazing...her popularity actually reaches the confines of the ENTIRE classroom...to think I was my university's Man of the Year), and other girls. Maddie, Peggy's sidekick never steps in, but she never makes fun of Wanda, either. She just stands back and watches. Now, the making fun of is pretty benevolent in today's standards. Peggy teases Wanda because she only wears one dress every day...over and over...the dress is described as a blue in the most beautiful summer day. Peggy never says anything ugly to her, she just provokes Wanda about the amount of dresses she owns. Wanda always says she has "one hundred dresses in my closet all lined up." Peggy says "Oh really, I bet they are bea-you-tiful." and walks away. Now if Peggy existed today, she would say "You are such a stupid piece of sh**. You are so poor you don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of." I know. I have taught kids their age.

Well, it comes to the day when all of the students submit their drawings into a contest. The boys were all to draw a motorboat and the girls were to draw dresses. Peggy is sure she is going to win. When she and Maddie walk in the room, a hundred drawings of dresses line the wall. The teacher announces Wanda has won because she drew all of these beautiful drawings. Unfortunately, Wanda was not at school that day. After she announced, the school secretary entered the room and gave the teacher a letter from Wanda's father. In broken English, it proclaimed Wanda was moving because the family needed to move to a big city where their name was not an issue and they were not made fun of in the least bit...they could be with more Polish people.

Immediately, Maddie feels bad. She feels responsible for always standing around and never doing anything about the provocations. Peggy asks her if she wants to go to Boggins Heights to see if Wanda has moved yet. They go to the shanty she lives in and see that she has moved. This disturbs Maddie because she will never get peace. They decide to write a letter to her and have the Post Office forward it.

At Christmas, the class receives a letter from Wanda. It says she is doing well and loves the city. It also says to give the picture of the blue dress to Maddie and the green and red to Peggy. Maddie feels even worse and more guilty. She realizes Wanda liked them even though they never treated her like a friend. It does not phase Peggy. One night, Maddie is looking at the brilliant drawing and realizes something. The face of the girl wearing the dress is Maddie. Wanda drew Maddie. Maddie teared up and ran to Peggy's house. She told Peggy and sure enough, Peggy's picture was of Peggy, too. Maddie cries and realizes how much love Wanda had for them. That is it.

Eleanor Estes wrote this book because she experienced a similar situation growing up. There was Polish girl in her small New Haven, CT classroom that did not fit in. People made fun of her so the family moved to New York City. The book was a tribute to the girl to apologize for everyone's behaviour in general. Eleanor Estes was the Maddie of the situation, btw.

I think it is important for kids to read a book of this nature; it is a Newbery Honor because of the valuable lesson it teaches. As my mom was explaining to me today...you just never know what is going on in someone's life...so therefore I should stop bitching while people walk in front of my car while I am driving down Howard Street. Kids are bullies...I was bullied when I was younger. I think we all are. My friend and I were just having this discussion the other day. When I taught, we had to take seminars on bullying and how to identify and stop it. It is hateful. I do talk about people...yes...we all do, but I would never be ugly to someone causing them to move, etc. The book is definitely a kid's bestseller recently because it was made into a play. It was in Chicago for a while and EVERYONE wanted a copy!
Well...this is it for now. Everything at work was NORMAL today. :) The only thing is that it was CRAZY for a while...and I re-organized bargain overstock...which is something only an angel in Heaven would do...and I am...so that is that.

What is the end?

Well I am finished with What is the What. By finished I mean done. Done, done, done. I realize its value and integrity is great, but I cannot put myself through another inch of this book right now. As of today, I have decided if I want to make a life choice, I am going to do it. Mine, however small today, is going to be to finish this book at another time...maybe over the next year. You think I am kidding? The book has given me plenty of strength in knowing things are to get better, even when it seems as though they cannot. I used to be such a positive thinker and somehow it disappeared. For the past three years, well since the second half of my second senior year in college, I have been so negative. Everything seems so mundane. I am not sure if I am being stimulated enough (God knows I am being challenged, though) by surroundings; I have come to believe I have some massive form of ADHD that has nothing to do with attention span to small things or detail, it is something like environmental ADHD. I think I am moving about one pace ahead of my environment and I am not relaxing. Well, now it is time to step a pace back and catch up for God's sake. I couldn't enjoy Lexington because I was bored, so I had to come to Chicago. Then, I got pissed with my job (and anyone would if they had to work with that C yoU Next Tuesday that I worked with last year)...after grad school fell apart and I had to transfer, I slumped again, and then working fifty jobs and grad school pulled me down even more. So, as you can see, I have been in a cesspool of sorrow and energy loss. I make no money and I am mad. I don't get to see friends that often and I am mad. I don't get to travel and I am mad. I have a little debt and I am mad. I am mad at my car. I am mad at my pay. I am mad at my bills. I am mad at everything. Well, today is it, I am starting something new. Putting this book down, however small, is going to be my step into a better future. I am freeing myself from things that hold me back and pull me down. This book, for example, is keeping me from exploring more literature. This attitude, for example, is keeping me from being stress free and succeeding like I used to; it is keeping me from meeting people and it is keeping me from being happy. So what, I have no money...well, nor did any of the greatest artists and look what they did. They at least enjoyed. Look where I live. I love this city. I am ready to embrace it.

So, What is the What has taught me something. Valentino has taught me something. If a Sudanese man can come to America and fare alright, ok despite the fact he was beaten by burglars, then I can succeed for now.

I see it this way. I will be advancing in Barnes and Noble or I will be teaching. Fair enough. Patience is the only option I have, therefore happiness is the only option I have. Crying and being upset is not going to make my bank account fill. If it did, I would have thrown MANY more bitchfits. One way or the other, I will be doing something I like. My management is helping me move in promotional track at work. I also have eyes watching school districts for me. Things are good. I mean, really, I do love working both of my jobs right now...I even love the Lyric work when they have it. I work with fun people and I am around books all day.

The metaphor of the day is my life WAS Southern Sudan. Now it is going to be Chicago. When I moved here, I had so much going for me. Right now, I still do, I just have to clear my mind and open my eyes. It has been a struggle for me and my parents and I hate I have put them through so much pain right now (and asking them to help me...don't worry...I will pay back as soon as I have a salary!).

When I wake up in the morning, things will be different. I am going to read a new book. I am going to write a graduate paper. I am going to draw. I am going to write. I am going to breathe the cool Chicago air and I am going to be happy. And smile. And just love life instead of dreading having to wake up everyday to even bother.

A final say on Eggers. I think he writes well. I like the fact he intertwined Valentino's stories with Valentino's Atlanta problems. Even though I am not finishing right now, I will someday. I also know that I will read more Eggers. I bit off more than I could chew with this book. This is not to say I could not read a 500 book in a week...The Child Thief was 500...it was just heavy. I am a quick reader, but something just did not digest too well (I made it to pg. 419).

I found this review about the book on goodreads.com:
GREAT STORY, NOT-SO-GREAT BOOK!

LISTEN UP ... this took me THREE MONTHS to finish!!! I did read other books in the meantime, but believe me, I wouldn't have dragged my feet on this one if the storytelling hadn't been so TERRIBLY AWFUL!

Another said:

It takes a certain and rare kind of writer to make a story about civil war, genocide, and a refugee crisis boring and unreadable; that writer, specifically, is Dave Eggers. It's not that I don't understand the purpose that this book serves - just as we import the Third World's raw resources to fuel our own material greed, so must we import their tragedies to break up the monotony of our lives. My question is - can't we get better books to do it?

Now, my argument is that we can at least put our own lives in perspective when reading books of this type. I think the book helped me in some way. I know it hurts to read about loss and death, but it helps to think of what we have. Just a thought.

So, tomorrow, I am going to read Eleanor Estes' The Hundred Dresses. All I know is that it is a Newbery Medal Honor and from what I have heard, a vastly inspiring book. It is celebrating the end of my E week and moving forward into my F week. Tomorrow, I will provide some insight into Estes and her work. The book is only 80 pages and includes substantial font and many illustrations. This should be good.
So please do not be disappointed in me for not finishing the book. I realize this blog does not mean I have to love a book. It is for me to try new things and hopefully spread some recs to people.

Tonight, I got social time in with Justin and Tim...as pictured below. They are two crazies that I am friends with. They have been friends for a while and have merged me into their circle of awesomeness...haha. They asked if I wanted to see Burton's Alice in Wonderland and I of course said yes because I love Tim Burton's stuff!
And now...here is my opinion.
I have heard many bad things about Alice in Wonderland. Burton's movies are usually never complained about, so I was a little scared before seeing it. I heard dialogue was bad, too much CGI and other things. Well...I would have to disagree. The dialogue was great. Our society is too hyperactive. We have to watch movies that banter and bitch and cuss and complain. The action must be NONSTOP and everyone must be doing a thousand things a second to keep us entertained. Well, Alice was somewhat traditional to a movie based on a Classic. The beginning set the stage...oh, by the way, totally based on Alice in Wonderland AND Through the Looking Glass. So, there was some dialogue and stuff without CGI...and to that, I say perfect. It almost seems to unfold as a drama. Well, when Alice finally gets to Wonderland (which is Underland), the CGI begins...and of course you HAVE to use CGI on movie like this. How else would we be able to create Wonderland? So, I think it was fine. The acting was good...everything was good. I love the fact it was 3D. Quite powerful. The movie was visually stunning. The only thing I did not like was when Depp did a little dancing scene...totally does not fit...but what can ya do? He plays a great Mad Hatter. I would def say 4 stars to it. Danny Elfman, my fave, does the score. :) Oh, and by the way, every queen is going to be impersonating the White Queen's stance...HAHAHA.
So, last but not least, what is a day without a story from the bookstore? Well, it just isn't a day. Today's story is crass...keep reading and don't yell at me if you do.

So, I walk in and find out I have to clean the men's bathroom because the toilet has overflowed. YAY. Well, naturally water is everywhere and to add that touch of schadenfreude, there were particles so to speak in it. I chloroxed the HELL outta that bathroom and made sure it was clean. First off, chlorox splattered on my pants. I had to replace them at Gap (thank God for 50% discount b/c I am pretty sure I will not be reimbursed...positive thinking...positive thinking). Secondly, I could smell the stuff all day. To add to the bathroom fun, the ceiling rained down on the last part of our Fiction/Lit section, the Western section and oh here it goes...the first part of the Romance section...sorry ladies...no reading porn for you today. Maintenance was working on it all day. Well, back to the toilet. At the end of the day, my manager says this...and I should no it is going to be bad:
Patrick, guess what they found in the toilet? she said. What?
Just guess. They told me to guess. They said in the past couple of days they had found diamond rings, Mercedes keys and watches in the toilet. So, I asked is that what it is? The plumber said no. You have guesses. she said. Ok, well, I know that a tampon wouldn't make the toilet overflow...a condom wouldn't either. So I don't know.
Here's the kicker: Patrick, they found a strap-on dildo in the toilet.

?
?
?

And now, I am officially writing a book. On that note. Goodnight.

So the end is in sight...

I don't know about Valentino, but the end is near for me. I am almost finished with the book. Today, my reading has streamed along the same topics of survival, friendship and faith. Valentino is still wrestling with the same thoughts that have been streaming through his head for the past few chapters. But, even if there are no stories of hope from Atlanta, there seem to be some stories of hope within his Kenyan stories. As far as I can tell, he is growing and maturing. Actually, I would have to say he has been mature since the age of seven. He had no time in his childhood to have a childhood. Right now he is around 19 or 20 and still possesses his roles as a leader within the Kakuma I district. He describes how he serves as a mediator within families between youth and elders. The dramas he has been involved in have been rather progressive for the Sudanese culture. Many depict the woman as being more independent and able to choose her husband rather than submit to family and culture. So, naturally, families begin to show some angst about their daughters acting in these productions...it might give them ideas.

Maria is one he would love to mediate for she has a passion for the arts. Her "father" is outraged she has been performing rather than watching over her adopted "mother" figure while she is about to give birth. Valentino (at this time Dominic) wants to see her act, but she feels she should not press the issue for she might succumb to a beating. Further, she does not want to have to interact with her "father" much for the fear he might find out she has had her first period; in Sudanese culture, a girl becomes a woman on this day. If he finds out, she might be wed off immediately. This arranged marriage defies her progressive thoughts as a woman within the Sudanese community.

So, this is where I stand. I will have to say, as much as the book is well written, I will just be glad to be finished. You know how sometimes a book will wear on you if it is around too long? Well, this is this book. If I had more time to engulf it within a few days, it wouldn't be so bad, but that is the problem. I have had to prolong this reading and spread it over three weeks. It has become so stagnant to me (and I don't mean the writing, content or anything in particular, itself). I feel as though I have let it expire and now I am just forcing myself through. There are particular books I wish I could have been able to savor like this one; I wish I could have plowed through it and finished. Oh well, such is life. C'est la vie.

I have learned some things about life from this book, as I have stated in MANY blogs about this ONE book...I think so far there are 17 blogs on it. I have learned:
1) Be patient...life moves quickly but those things you want don't quite move at the same speed.
2) Be grateful...at least I am not caught in a civil war...I have a bed, cool air, fresh food and water, friends, family and materials (yes...I know...materialistic) that I can at least call my own.
3) Love your family and friends...you just never know how long they will be around
4) Have faith...whatever God is out there looking out for us is there...we just might not notice immediately
5) Don't complain...walking in the snow is better than walking days in a desert.
6) Don't become too attached to anything in life...everything could disappear one day.
7) Value education...I do.
8) Keep moving. The light at the end of the tunnel will come...no matter how bad the circumstances.

Well, today has been the day from Hell. Bad customers and too many hours of work. I am grateful for working (see...I am already defying the things I preached above). I got a great workout with my buddy Dexter and was really happy to see my co-workers. My section at work was TRASHED. I felt like I would never catch up. I felt like a zombie at 6 this morning at Gap shipment. Today went from waking at 5:10...working at 5:50 to 10:45...huge workout...grocery store...Barnes and Noble 4:00-12:00AM to wake up tomorrow for work at 8:45AM.

Tomorrow, I will see Burton's Alice in Wonderland with Justin and Tim. Woo hoo!

Sleeeeeeeeep well.

Early Blog

Well, I have to do this blog early today. I am about to start my shift at Barnes and Noble and will be typing during breaks. Tonight, I get home at 12:30 and then have to be at Gap at 6AM. I think I will be going to sleep immediately.

Today, the main focus of the book, What is the What, has been primarily on Valentino's (now known as Dominic) role as a teacher in Kakuma I. He is specifically head youth leader to all 6,000 kids that fall within that title within Kakuma I. This is the point where we begin reading stories of Ms. Gladys, the Kenyan drama teacher. She was a great influence to Dominic and many of the other boys (she liked the name Dominic...since they all had crushes on her, they switched their names to Dominic...Valentino included). She had children put on plays and dramatizations about issues that could not be distributed through paper within the camp. HIV awareness was one in particular.

Dominic recruits Maria (the girl who saved him from sleeping...she calls him Sleeper) to become active in the dramatizations. She concedes but does not think she will be able to contribute much time. The lady of the house in which she is living is pregnant and her husband says Maria cannot attend school even though she is very bright. Maria loves drama and everyone realizes she has a knack for the art.

A side within this section is Japan's interest in Kakuma. The children of Kakuma begin a pen-pal project with Japan. They don't know who has better English...haha. The Japanese begin contributing a lot of money to the camp and build schools, libraries, hospitals, shelters and donate thousands of items needed to run these specific venues. My friend Amy would love this.

Well this is what I have for today. It has been a lazy day. I begin my diet and workout routine again tomorrow...after Gap.

Have a wonderful night! :)

Oh by the way...the days are longer...Spring is a-comin!

No rest for the weary

I tell ya, Achak has his fair share of life dealings. The main focus of today is his sense of belonging and faith. There are several times in the book where he states he does not really know where he belongs in this lifetime. As he is established in one camp, he has to move on to the next. Currently, at my position in the book, he is living at Kakuma within the boundaries of Kenya. Kakuma is so big it has "suburb" camps. Every week, thousands of refugees are dumped upon the camp. As more come, rations are smaller. Living conditions are not ideal in Kakuma. Achak describes it as being a place of death and a place of dust. It is described as most meals not being able to be eaten without chewing gritty sand.

The UN decides it is time to do a census within the camp. The people are opposed to it. Finally, after much time, they are able to do it. With it comes the realization that 8,000 less people live in the camp than thought. People were 'recycling' themselves (leaving camp in disguise and returning with a pseudonym) to receive second ration cards. With this realization, rations become smaller and people are still forced to eat just one meal a day.

During all of this, Achak is living with a man named Gol who is Dinka. Gol is a teacher in the camp; he is waiting for his wife and three daughters to show up to live in Kakuma (one daughter needs medical treatment and can get it here). Achak remains busy as he is living with Gol by pulling his own weight when needed. He excels in school and does his duties. When the census is complete and rations are taken, Achak decides he will recycle himself so he can contribute more to the family when they get here. So, they show up and he sets off to Sudan to sell articles of clothing to return with goats in order to make more money and get a new ration card at Kakuma. It is a complicated process. Along the way he bribes Kenyan officers, takes a ride in a truck bed with dead bodies and meets a man who makes artificial limbs. This man tells him to turn around to go back to Kakuma...long story...read it.

Two side stories:

1) Achak wants to give up on the way to Kakuma. He decides he wants to die like William K and lies in the path to fall "asleep" into death. A girl named Maria stumbles upon him and tells him he will NOT rest in the road or die. She is the reason he is alive by Kakuma.

2) Tabith is killed by her ex-boyfriend. Achak shares the stories and the struggles of the Dinka in America after a Sudanese killed another Sudanese.

Achak struggles a lot with God. He is not sure what he or the many Lost Boys or people of Sudan have done to make God mad. He debates a lot on this.

Today, I returned to Chicago. Home sweet home outside of South Carolina. I miss my family and friends from SC, but Skype is my new best friend. :) My grad class went out to eat tonight, too. I feel like we are finally a cohort. :)

Talk to you tomorrow.

We are both on the move

Valentino is leaving Ethiopia finally. The symbolism in this is that he is leaving the hospital, as well. He has no tolerance for the hospital at this point and still does not understand the American system of health. He does not understand the hours it takes to get anything done in an ER or how long it takes to get cleared...he finally gives up and takes off walking home in the middle of the night of Atlanta. Doesn't sound too smart to me.

On the other hand, as Achak, he is leaving Ethiopia. As he is leaving, he experiences a temporary sickness that is affecting his eyes and how he feels. He cannot see and he cannot open them. It is destroying him. He also has to flee the country being like this and this is a very difficult task. The next country is Kenya.

Today was a busy day so to speak. Matt, Carolyn stayed over last night. We went to bed at 2 or 3 after playing too much Mario on Wii. Such a mess. What did we do when we woke up...you got it...Wii. Such a fun day. We went out to eat lunch and finished off the day. They left at around 5 this afternoon.

When they left, I went to visit Melissa, my old orchestra co-worker from my middle school teaching. She is amazing. We just caught up...simple as that. Right after Melissa, I went to say goodbye for now to Jonathan and his mom. I then came home and spent the evening with my mom, dad and the dogs.

I will be coming home sooner than later this next time. I love my family and friends in South Carolina. I am really not sure where I belong in life right now. I think I am doing all the right things, but sometimes, when I am in South Carolina, I wonder. I know that this place is not mentally stimulating enough for me, but I love the people so damn much. I love my friends and family here, but feel the towns are a little small and a little small minded (Lily Allen). It is a wonderful place to have a family and to visit. My feelings are so hard to describe right now. Ugh. When Carolyn, Matt and Stephanie left, I couldn't stop crying. I know I want to see them and wish I could be around them more often. I don't quite have these types of roots in Chicago. I have friends up there that I love dearly, but because of time constraints, I can never get too far below the surface with anyone and that is what I need.

Tonight, Bebe and I discovered Chat Roulette online. If you have not done it, you must. Oh my. We are also Skypers now! :)

Well, I leave South Carolina tomorrow. So bittersweet. I will be back soon.

I love you all in my beautiful home state.

Digesting the Day

Wow, today was such a wonderful day. I had a few moments to read Whatbut not long. I read a little past Achak crossing the river of bodies, bullets and crocodiles. Achak made it to the other side but had to hide and play dead in order to stay alive. He ran into Achor Achor on the other side which was amazing. As he observed others trying to cross the river, he noticed the SPLA had abandoned many of the Sudanese. The Ethiopians and the Anuyaks were having a free-for-all killing spree of the Dinka. One woman approached a group of boys and said she was their mother. As soon as they opened up a little to her trusting her as she is a woman, she opened fire. Valentino described the bloodshed she caused. This is how far I got today.

Right now, I am watching my friends from Lander play Mario on Wii...the old version made for Wii. We are having ulti schadenfreude.

Today, I woke up early to go to the Bark Park at Saluda Shoals with my mom, dad, Katie and Buddy (our black and yellow labs). It was a blast watching them play with other dogs. I discussed books with one of the owners...who knew? I cannot ever get away from the topic of books. She said she is in a book club. Next month, they are going to read Half Broke Horses by Jeanette Walls. If you have never read The Glass Castle, you must. It is quite a tale. The lady wanted to know what we were selling the most in Chicago...of course it is the usuals begin The Help by Stockett, Game Change by Heilemann and Jenny Sanford's book. Nothing too big...except, we are selling a lot of the book Let the Great World Spin. Her dogs were Murray (probably named after Lake Murray) and Griff (probably after the SC artist. Other dogs showed up...Marley, Belle, Beau and Georgia. It was great watching Katie and Buddy having so much fun with the others.

Katie and Bella

After Bark Park, we came home for a quick nap and then went out to Gap and Barnes and Noble. I convinced my mom to buy some new stuff from Gap. She did. I hope she really enjoys it! We then went to Barnes so I could see Mel, my old co-worker...who is the lead of the kid's section (she helped me get my job!!!!). She gave me a couple of SC Local Store Lists that I think will be incredible to help fill our shelves at work. I would like a few more kid's titles that I know we do NOT have within our section. My goal is to make the kid's section AMAZING.

After this, I went to see my neighbor who was my old principal. It is her Birthday today! We chatted for quite a while and caught up on a lot of things Lexington, Lexington Middle School and Chicago. I always love chatting with her. She is so full of knowledge and has so many wonderful, interesting things to say!

Then, I got to see my friend Camille. She and I went to Rush's in Lexington (a local fast food chain which is AMAZING) to meet up with Stephanie, Carolyn and Matt. The time was spent bantering, as usual. We then came back to my house and have had a blast. There has been much schadenfreude playing Mario...but my friend Justin would be proud...I can stay alive now! We have been bantering a lot and making fun of each other and being crazy as we always are. No one has changed. :)
We also heard an AMAZING story from Matt tonight that I am going to try to get him to tell me again so I can put it up!

Have a wonderful night!