Hitchhiker Day Two...the end of the world in one chapter and then some aliens and a stolen spacecraft

Well, today was TOTALLY unproductive. This being in the sense that I moved my car so the Department of Revenue does not receive any money and then went back to sleep until noon. I then put on a hat, walked to Subway next door, learned the bailar for dance in Spanish and went back to my apartment. I then decided I would go see my fellow buddy in Missed Connections, Vince, at Barnes and Noble in Evanston. I think he and I should post them on the bulletin board in the break room to see who gets the most for Old Orchard.

When I was in Evanston's store, I bought my "B" book and Cesti's opera Le disgrazie d'Amore (sorry Old Orchard, I helped Evanston's plan for the day). Pretty excited about that. I also read some Hitchhiker. After, I went home and got ready for grad class. I learned some methods of ESL tonight and then went to the gym. At the gym, I managed to squeeze in 25 mins of reading on the eliptical. I am waiting for the time I misstep on that machine and fall off b/c I am reading and texting at the same time. Schadenfreude. On the eliptical, I managed to get to Chapter 11 whilst burning 315 cals and going a distance of 2.3 miles. It is always nice to read and lose weight at the same time.

So my reading today has been of Ford and Arthur's escape from Earth and hitchhiking a ride on the Vogon's spacecraft; this ship happens to be the one that demolishes earth. The Vogon's hate hitchhikers, so one of their cooks, a Dentrassis, saves them only to piss off Vogon Jeltz. As punishment for their hitchhiking, Jeltz reads his poetry which is antagonizing (Arthur is able to understand b/c he inserts a Babelfish in his ear...a little yellow fish that transmits brainwaves and sounds into something decipherable...hence Babel). Dent tries to grovel at Jeltz's poetry and Prefect follows suit in order to save their lives but unfortunately, this does not work. Jeltz has them sent out into space (according to the hitchhiker's guide you only have 30 seconds of lung capacity before dying...they were up to 29). A passing ship, Starship Heart of Gold, captained by rogues Zaphod Beeblebrox and his mistress Trillian, pick them up just in time. The inside of the ship is warped until they can meet normal speed Backing this up for a moment: Zaphod is a president of a galaxy that gives a campaign speech to run again, sets off a bomb, distracts the audience, steals Starship Heart of Gold and takes off into the unknown. It was mere coincidence he picked up the two hitchhikers ejected by the Vogon. On board, we are introduced to a depressed, yes depressed, robot named Marvin. I love the fact that it is a depressed robot. I kind of wish Joan Rivers' robot from Spaceballs would enter the scene...I think her name was Dot Matrix. I love the fact she had a virgin alarm on her.

So back to Hitchhiker...So Marvin spends time being pissed at the ship's doors because they are cheery and thank the group for using them. As Zaphod quickly learns, the entire ship's computer system is bright and cheery which sends him into a rage. I think my favorite line of the book so far is when Marvin presents the "aliens" Ford and Arthur to Zaphod. Marvin thinks the task of getting them to the bridge to meet is too easy for a robot and states: I'll suppose you'll want to see the aliens now. Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust, or just fall part where I'm standing?" He loathes his existence and the fact that he is not using the vast space in which his brain holds. Pessi is a good nickname for him; cymbalta would be a good cure for him. I am stopping on Chapter 16 for today. I am little over halfway through the book. Arthur has just discovered Zaphod is Ford's cousin and has met him at a party before. He actually stole Arthur's hookup, Trisha McMillan (Trillian). This makes Arthur angry on many levels. Ford spends the time contemplating the fact his cousin stole the most technologically advanced spacecraft. I ended where the spaceship was orbiting the forgotten planet Magrathea.


So I was just creeping on Facebook and found a wonderful status from one of my B&N co-workers:

Dear B&N Patrons Who Can't Keep Dust Jackets on Books: I'd ask you not to breed, but I understand you have problems keeping covers on things while you use them.
Thank you, Alex.

My response to his status:

Dear B&N Patrons,

I would advise you to create a login ID on Bookmaster so you can read proper shelving guidelines. Nowhere in the Shelving Guidelines section does it say "Kama Sutra" is in the Things that Go, Pop-Ups or Juvenile Non Fiction Picture Bay. Nor does it say that Cosmo is shelved in the Disney porch. NOR does it say Paula Deen cookbooks go underneath the Thomas the Train table.

As far as dust Jackets, please learn that if you do take them off and put them back on, you at least learn how to put both ear flaps back in the book.

Thank you.

I am quickly reminded of Sarah's status:

I'm probably the only person who could manage getting a paper cut ... on their face. F- you Barnes & Noble.

Good times. Barnes and Noble is more interesting than one would think.

Well this is it for today. Thank you for enduring my bad blogging grammar, sentence structure and any other blaring mistakes I probably made whilst writing this blog. Throw me a bone. At least I am doing it.

Have a lovely night. If you need me, I will be moving my car on N Sheridan at 9AM.